I can FINALLY get back on Tina's site since she changed the format! Woohoo! Here are the answers to her meme:
What are your current obsessions?
The Caylee Anthony case, Sonic Diet Cokes with regular cherry syrup, whether or not I got the job
Which item from your wardrobe do you wear the most often?
Jeans and my SWT Alumni T-Shirt
What’s for dinner?
Spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread
What is your greatest fear at the moment?
J and I being separated by death
What are you listening to?
The jingle of Tana’s doggie tags. She wants to play the game “Chase Me Under the Bed.”
What are your favorite holiday spots?
Movie theaters, beaches, the couch
What are you reading right now?
The Tribute by Nora Roberts, pretty boring
What is your guilty pleasure?
Chocolate cake, cheesecake, Three Muskateers bar, theater popcorn with lots of butter
Who or what makes you laugh?
J and my youngest daughter.
What is your favorite Spring thing to do?
Open the windows
Where are you planning to travel next?
Hoping San Antonio, Kemah, or Louisiana.
What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?
A pizza from our newest pizza delivery place. It is simply perfect for nights when we don’t want to cook.
When was the last time you were tipsy?
Last week at Pappasito’s. Don’t remember when that was. Hmmm, guess I was tipsy.
What is your favorite ever film?
Too many to list, but I really love Apollo 13 (I know it word for word) and, of course, The Blue Lagoon
What is the biggest life lesson you’ve learned from your kids?
That there is a whole lot more going on in their minds than we give them credit for.
What book do you know you should read but refuse to?
Probably a sex manual. Ha ha!
What is your physical abnormity/abnormal physical ability?
Man, where do I start? Overweight would be the first. I have moles, which I hate, but if I took them off they would leave scars, which I would also hate. Oh, also, a C-section scar.
What is your favorite color?
PURPLE!
Can the people outside your car hear the music playing inside your car?
They could last week. It depends on what I’m playing.
In a perfect world, how many hours sleep would you get per night?
I had a sleep study done once, and it showed that I need more than 8 hrs. a night because I don’t get a good REM cycle (look that up). I feel best with 10.
Not continuing with the entrapment story at the moment because I am a nervous wreck waiting for the dumb phone to ring!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
The "Kidnapping" (Entrapment) Part 2
Please read part 1 below first if you haven't already.
Before I go on with the story, I would to make it quite clear that this was not an actual kidnapping with knives or guns or anything. I really don't know what to call it. Entrapment? Anyway, I was in fear my safety and, above all, the safety of my children, and had no way to get out for several days. It left my children traumatized, angry, and scared.
Okay. So fast forward quite a few years to the year 2001. I had been homeschooling my daughters, ages 10 and 7. We had been reading the Little House on the Prairie books, and they were REALLY getting into them. S and I were still talking on the phone from Minnesota to Texas. She knew that we were really in a money crunch, having started our own business two years before and trying to get it moving along. We had to watch every penny. Vacation time was set aside only to visit relatives, not for pleasure trips. S was single, made great money, lived very simply and saved her money for something special. She was a "big sister" in the Big Brothers/Sisters Program in Minneapolis, and took kids camping, to museums, whatever. She loved to educate kids, and she loved playing tour guide to visitors. She had begged me to come see her for years. She still had the controlling personality, of course, and my ex had not taken to her at all. She came to visit us once before when she was in Houston, and she basically took over the conversation at dinner; he didn't like that at all. But I somehow found her very interesting, super intelligent. I mean, there seemed to be nothing she didn't know about, politics, history, science, literature. She would have been a great Jeopardy contestant. She thought very highly of me as a teacher, mentor, and mother. She was extremely proud of what I was accomplishing with the older daughter who had learning difficulties.
So anyway, around February of 2001, S suggested that I bring the girls up to Minnesota for a visit. All I had to do was supply the three plane tickets; she would pay for everything else. She said we could take the girls on the Little House tour, from Wisconsin, thru Minnesota, to South Dakota, and back, skipping Missouri because of lack of time. How could I resist such an educational experience for my girls? And basically all expenses paid? This was not something that their dad and I would be able to provide them at this time in their lives. So I told the girls that if we worked hard and finished all the Little House books, we would go and see Laura Ingalls Wilder's homes, plus get to see the Mall of America and whatever else our tour guide had in store for us. My mother made them prairie dresses and bonnets to wear to the Ingalls Homestead and Laura Ingalls Wilder Pageant. It was their first plane ride in their memories, and they each planned to bring their expensive American Girl dolls with them.
S had the itinerary down to a T. And that's what I wanted. I had never been to any of those places, so I was glad that she had everything planned out. July is when all the Laura I. Wilder celebrations, parades, and pageants take place. The girls and I would fly in to Minneapolis in early July and stay a couple of days in her apartment, seeing the sights there and in St. Paul, visit S's school, and then leave on a three to four day Little House tour. Story to be continued.
Before I go on with the story, I would to make it quite clear that this was not an actual kidnapping with knives or guns or anything. I really don't know what to call it. Entrapment? Anyway, I was in fear my safety and, above all, the safety of my children, and had no way to get out for several days. It left my children traumatized, angry, and scared.
Okay. So fast forward quite a few years to the year 2001. I had been homeschooling my daughters, ages 10 and 7. We had been reading the Little House on the Prairie books, and they were REALLY getting into them. S and I were still talking on the phone from Minnesota to Texas. She knew that we were really in a money crunch, having started our own business two years before and trying to get it moving along. We had to watch every penny. Vacation time was set aside only to visit relatives, not for pleasure trips. S was single, made great money, lived very simply and saved her money for something special. She was a "big sister" in the Big Brothers/Sisters Program in Minneapolis, and took kids camping, to museums, whatever. She loved to educate kids, and she loved playing tour guide to visitors. She had begged me to come see her for years. She still had the controlling personality, of course, and my ex had not taken to her at all. She came to visit us once before when she was in Houston, and she basically took over the conversation at dinner; he didn't like that at all. But I somehow found her very interesting, super intelligent. I mean, there seemed to be nothing she didn't know about, politics, history, science, literature. She would have been a great Jeopardy contestant. She thought very highly of me as a teacher, mentor, and mother. She was extremely proud of what I was accomplishing with the older daughter who had learning difficulties.
So anyway, around February of 2001, S suggested that I bring the girls up to Minnesota for a visit. All I had to do was supply the three plane tickets; she would pay for everything else. She said we could take the girls on the Little House tour, from Wisconsin, thru Minnesota, to South Dakota, and back, skipping Missouri because of lack of time. How could I resist such an educational experience for my girls? And basically all expenses paid? This was not something that their dad and I would be able to provide them at this time in their lives. So I told the girls that if we worked hard and finished all the Little House books, we would go and see Laura Ingalls Wilder's homes, plus get to see the Mall of America and whatever else our tour guide had in store for us. My mother made them prairie dresses and bonnets to wear to the Ingalls Homestead and Laura Ingalls Wilder Pageant. It was their first plane ride in their memories, and they each planned to bring their expensive American Girl dolls with them.
S had the itinerary down to a T. And that's what I wanted. I had never been to any of those places, so I was glad that she had everything planned out. July is when all the Laura I. Wilder celebrations, parades, and pageants take place. The girls and I would fly in to Minneapolis in early July and stay a couple of days in her apartment, seeing the sights there and in St. Paul, visit S's school, and then leave on a three to four day Little House tour. Story to be continued.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The "Kidnapping" (Entrapment)
Tonight I will start to tell my story of the "kidnapping." I don't know what else to call it. Let me preface the story by saying this: If -- and that is a big IF I get this job, there is a possibility that the so called "kidnapper" will come to Houston from Minnesota for a conference and tour the school that I would be working at. I have not seen or spoken to her since 2001. When I first reported this story, I was a regular on two message boards, homeschooling message boards. The ladies there were very supportive, but also in shock because the story was SO outlandish that it was hard to believe. So I will just briefly give you background into the situation.
In 1991, I was serving as lead teacher in a prominent Montessori school in Texas. An intern from Minnesota came to learn and serve as my assistant/co-teacher. I say "assistant" because she had not passed her certification. At the end of one year, she was to return to Minnesota as a certified lead Montessori elementary teacher. I was specifically re-hired by this school to serve as her lead teacher and to model for her how an elementary Montessori environment was run. Needless to say, from the very first day we did not hit it off. She was a very controlling person.
On the first day of school, every year, I play a game with the kids called the "name game." It is a challenging game, but lots of fun, in a circle, and I have found that it is the fastest way for a group of 30 plus kids to learn each other's names quickly. After playing the game, "S" as I will call her, reported me to the director to the school because she said that the game was not "Montessori." My director basically laughed in her face at this strange accusation.
First of all, what is considered "Montessori"? It was not an apparatus, it was not a philosophy, it was a GAME. So we basically disliked each other from the start. BUT there were many positive things about her. She had been on many travels all over the world, serving in the Peace Corps, even working for Mother Theresa. She was an EXTREMELY intelligent person. She had so much information to share with the kids. There seemed to be nothing she hadn't experienced. She had even been arrested and put in jail for protesting against something I can't even remember. She had a brusk way of speaking to the students, but they respected her a lot more than me. Her expectations for them were much higher; she was a hard worker. She stood up for me many times against other teachers when I was in the right.
What ended up happening was this: she and I figured out that we truly liked each other, liked hanging out at her place drinking wine coolers, that we were better together as friends, not as co-workers, so when she moved back to Minnesota when her year was up, I was truly sad to see her go, not as a co-worker, but as a friend. She took back with her the recipe for "Frito Pies" to share with her students, memories of Hurricane Hugo, and our class even had a largest cockroach contest to send back to her in Minnesota for her students to experience. We would talk for hours from Texas to Minnesota, and as long as we did not talk about work, Montessori, students, etc., we got along fine. Fast forward a few years later, and the story will continue.
In 1991, I was serving as lead teacher in a prominent Montessori school in Texas. An intern from Minnesota came to learn and serve as my assistant/co-teacher. I say "assistant" because she had not passed her certification. At the end of one year, she was to return to Minnesota as a certified lead Montessori elementary teacher. I was specifically re-hired by this school to serve as her lead teacher and to model for her how an elementary Montessori environment was run. Needless to say, from the very first day we did not hit it off. She was a very controlling person.
On the first day of school, every year, I play a game with the kids called the "name game." It is a challenging game, but lots of fun, in a circle, and I have found that it is the fastest way for a group of 30 plus kids to learn each other's names quickly. After playing the game, "S" as I will call her, reported me to the director to the school because she said that the game was not "Montessori." My director basically laughed in her face at this strange accusation.
First of all, what is considered "Montessori"? It was not an apparatus, it was not a philosophy, it was a GAME. So we basically disliked each other from the start. BUT there were many positive things about her. She had been on many travels all over the world, serving in the Peace Corps, even working for Mother Theresa. She was an EXTREMELY intelligent person. She had so much information to share with the kids. There seemed to be nothing she hadn't experienced. She had even been arrested and put in jail for protesting against something I can't even remember. She had a brusk way of speaking to the students, but they respected her a lot more than me. Her expectations for them were much higher; she was a hard worker. She stood up for me many times against other teachers when I was in the right.
What ended up happening was this: she and I figured out that we truly liked each other, liked hanging out at her place drinking wine coolers, that we were better together as friends, not as co-workers, so when she moved back to Minnesota when her year was up, I was truly sad to see her go, not as a co-worker, but as a friend. She took back with her the recipe for "Frito Pies" to share with her students, memories of Hurricane Hugo, and our class even had a largest cockroach contest to send back to her in Minnesota for her students to experience. We would talk for hours from Texas to Minnesota, and as long as we did not talk about work, Montessori, students, etc., we got along fine. Fast forward a few years later, and the story will continue.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Tana
Here is Tana, pronounced "Tanna", waiting on J's side of the bed for J to get home last night. Tana is from Lantana because that is the name of the first place J and I lived together (a dorm).
So far the dog is doing okay, but she hasn't pooped yet. I have walked and walked her, but she still won't. I am sure she will do it in the apartment sometime today when I am not looking. She hasn't really eaten and drank much, though, probably from nerves.
She has figured out that she can hide under the bed and that it is very difficult for us to get her out. I usually have to roll her on her side and slide her out that way. Didn't want to lie on the floor in my business suit this morning, so I put her in her crate before I got dressed.
I love the way she squats but still lifts her right hind leg when she tinkles. Maybe she is transgender? Now if I could only get her to avoid cracks and horizontal lines when walking like Jack Nicholson't dog did in As Good As It Gets we would be perfectly simpatico.
She is very stubborn and absolutely will not respond to the phrase "Come here." So you have to pretend that you don't want her near you, and then she comes. She doesn't like you to leave her in a room alone. Sometimes I sit at the computer and pretend I am typing, and she will come right up to me. Her foster mom told me she always sat in her lap while she was at the computer. Nice trick!
Last night, J and I were laying in bed. Apartment was pitch dark and the dog had no idea where she was supposed to be. I had put her dog bed with my t-shirt in it next to my side of the bed. You could hear her little tags jingling through the house. We heard some bumps upstairs,which is not unusual, and then a whining wooooooo sound. J said it was a dog. I said, "Well, it wasn't our dog." We heard it again. To me, it sounded like someone was in pain upstairs. But then came the third time we heard it - woooooooo - coming from our living room. J and I said together, "Yep, that's our dog!" I put her in her bed and hung my arm over the side, stroking her to sleep. She slept there the rest of the night.
Interview went really well today, I thought. Should hear something one way or the other after Monday they said. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. This would be a MAJOR step up in my career.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Chaz Bono
Cher is about to get a new son.
Chastity Bono, the celebrity offspring of the singer and late husband Sonny Bono, is changing gender from female to male, her publicist told the Daily News on Thursday.
The 40-year-old, known to family and friends as Chaz, came out as a lesbian nearly two decades ago. Bono intends to make the transition from woman to man, publicist Howard Bragman said.
"Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity," Bragman said.
"He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by loved ones.
"It is Chaz's hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his coming out did nearly 20 years ago."
Bragman declined to answer any further questions about the sex change.
Transitioning typically involves hormone therapy, and sometimes - although not always - includes surgery.
Here She Is!
Picked her up today. She is extremely timid and unsure of things right now; hiding a lot. But she will come sit by me or on my lap once in a while. J hasn't seen her yet. I figure J will either throw the dog out, me out, or both of us out. FYI her chest isn't pink. I don't know why it came out that way. By the way, which breed of dog is considered a lesbian's dog?
Craigslist Ad of the Month
While perusing craigslist for chihuahua info, I found his ad for a rose haired tarantula.
am have a rose haired tarantula named chucky .ive had him for about a year so hes about 2 and ahalf... hes not to big yet he is still young.. hes a good spider hes also spoiled lol i give him about 12 larger crickets every 2 weeks. he comes with a 10 gallon tank and a water dish. he is tamed but gets scared.. i ve never been bit from him. the reason why im getting rid is he looks misable and he need someone that spends time with him. .. he already has about 7 crickets in there. like i said comes with tank and water dish im selling for 30 which comes with tank water dish and whatever food left he has.
Umm, I didn't know a spider could look "miserable."
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wow!
Wow! You bloggers have been busy, and I've only read the ones I'm following! Went to housesit for V this morning while she was getting her a/c fixed. Fell asleep on her couch. The workers could have stolen her blind, and I would never have known it. Then I drove into H town and picked up J for lunch! We went to a cute Chinese restaurant, but the food didn't sit well for either one of us. We are pondering taking in a 2-yr-old chihuahua. I hadn't realized how much I miss my Dusti and being mommy to someone. Anyway, the woman said she has 3 or 4 interested parties, so if she's still available Saturday, we will go look at her. The lady who has her hasn't really worked with her too well on the housebreaking, which has me worried. If I go back to work soon, I won't have much time to housebreak her.
By the way, I have an interview on Friday morning! Please send prayers and good thoughts my way around 10:15 a.m. central time. I would really appreciate it.
**To Maria: Yes, regarding Barry White - either you love him or you hate him, and I personally cannot listen to him all the time.
By the way, I have an interview on Friday morning! Please send prayers and good thoughts my way around 10:15 a.m. central time. I would really appreciate it.
**To Maria: Yes, regarding Barry White - either you love him or you hate him, and I personally cannot listen to him all the time.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Monday Meme
Got this one from L.L. Cool Joe. Thanks!
1. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Pappasito’s for several reasons: 1. It was where we went on our first date back last year. 2. The Wave Margarita 3. J usually has a gift card so she doesn’t have to spend any money
Also, Fratelli’s. VERY romantic. GREAT memories.
2. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Rice
3. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Two babies
4. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A 20-lb bag of cat litter, and I don’t even own a cat.
5. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
No.
6. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
The day of, yes. Before that, no.
7. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
My last name to J’s last name. Still pondering when that will legally take place.
8. What’s your goal for the year?
To find a new job and to heal emotionally and finally connect with my daughters, for real.
9. Last person you hugged?
J
10. First place you went this morning?
To Sonic, of course!
11. Do you always answer your phone?
No.
12. It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Must be a wrong number. Although, I did send J a text from Florida at 4:00 a.m. her time.
13. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Light violet
14. What’s on your wish list for your birthday?
Something sexy
15. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Both. Excited for what the future holds for me and J. Nervous because of the unknown.
16. Do you have any saved texts?
No.
17. Ever been in a car wreck?
Too many to remember
18. Do you have an accent?
Yes, I get teased by J for my country bumpkin accent.
19. What was the last song to make you cry?
The Way of Love sung by Cher and Hallelujah sung by k.d. lang at the Juno awards. Those songs get me every time.
20. What did you do last night?
Cuddled with J until I fell fast asleep in her arms.
21. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yeah, the nights I tried to take my life. There is absolutely no reason why I should have survived the second time.
22. Current hate right now?
I hate no one, but I really do hate my OCD.
23. Met someone who changed your life?
I have met a lot of people who have changed my life. Most are not around anymore. But the most important one is – J!!!!
24. How did you bring in the New Year?
J and I drank pink champagne and watched T.V. and cuddled. With J I have found that I am DEFINITELY a cuddler. Lol
25. What song represents you?
Well, right now it is Barry White’s I’ve Got So Much to Give (see below post).
1. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Pappasito’s for several reasons: 1. It was where we went on our first date back last year. 2. The Wave Margarita 3. J usually has a gift card so she doesn’t have to spend any money
Also, Fratelli’s. VERY romantic. GREAT memories.
2. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Rice
3. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Two babies
4. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A 20-lb bag of cat litter, and I don’t even own a cat.
5. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
No.
6. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
The day of, yes. Before that, no.
7. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
My last name to J’s last name. Still pondering when that will legally take place.
8. What’s your goal for the year?
To find a new job and to heal emotionally and finally connect with my daughters, for real.
9. Last person you hugged?
J
10. First place you went this morning?
To Sonic, of course!
11. Do you always answer your phone?
No.
12. It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Must be a wrong number. Although, I did send J a text from Florida at 4:00 a.m. her time.
13. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Light violet
14. What’s on your wish list for your birthday?
Something sexy
15. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Both. Excited for what the future holds for me and J. Nervous because of the unknown.
16. Do you have any saved texts?
No.
17. Ever been in a car wreck?
Too many to remember
18. Do you have an accent?
Yes, I get teased by J for my country bumpkin accent.
19. What was the last song to make you cry?
The Way of Love sung by Cher and Hallelujah sung by k.d. lang at the Juno awards. Those songs get me every time.
20. What did you do last night?
Cuddled with J until I fell fast asleep in her arms.
21. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yeah, the nights I tried to take my life. There is absolutely no reason why I should have survived the second time.
22. Current hate right now?
I hate no one, but I really do hate my OCD.
23. Met someone who changed your life?
I have met a lot of people who have changed my life. Most are not around anymore. But the most important one is – J!!!!
24. How did you bring in the New Year?
J and I drank pink champagne and watched T.V. and cuddled. With J I have found that I am DEFINITELY a cuddler. Lol
25. What song represents you?
Well, right now it is Barry White’s I’ve Got So Much to Give (see below post).
Dedicated to J
Don’t do that
Baby, please don’t do that
What are you cryin’ for
Is it because you’re sad or mad or
Nothing’s gonna go wrong
Sometimes we feel inside of us that
That everything we have is only here for today
But every now and then two people get lucky
And find that certain thing that make them wanna
Just keep it, just keep it that way
I don’t want you to feel that
That you have to go through these changes when
Knowin’ no way
I know that our love is different
Our lives will be different
Trust me, baby, trust me
Now that I’m here no more tears
Come here, come here
And you won’t find things that broke your heart
And blew your mind
Not here, no, not here
And my, oh, my
Girl, can’t you see, can’t you see that I
I’ve got so much to give to you, my dear
It’s gonna take a lifetime, it’s gonna take years
To you my dear I’ve got so much to give
It’s gonna take my lifetime
It’s gonna take years and years and years and years
And I’ll fill you in your hopes and dreams
Believe me, girl, you got everything
Right here, right here
No one could offer you more
Than the love I have for you in store
It’s here, oh, oh, yeah
And my, oh, my
Honey, can’t you see, can’t you see that I
I got so much to give to you my dear
It’s gonna take a lifetime, it’s gonna take years
To you my dear I’ve got so much to give
It’s gonna take my lifetime
It’s gonna take years and years and years and years
Believe me, baby
We found that certain thing
That certain feeling
That lets two people express themselves how they feel
Let your love flow inside of you
Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid, baby
Florida Trip followed by Major Romance
Well not too much exciting to report. I didn't come out to my grandmother after all. She started talking about "queers" in a condescending way, and that's when I decided not to spoil the visit. We never discussed why I left the marriage or anything. There really wasn't anything to talk about. I had a boring time; it rained every day, but I did get my 2-mile walks in in the mornings. But was great to be with her in her home again. Probably will be my last time, I suppose. The "goodbye" was nothing special. I just hugged her and said, "Goodbye, Grandma." There was no "I love you" or "Have a good trip" or anything. I don't know, I sort of feel that our time together this week spoiled the relationship in some way. She told me that I looked bored (which I was) and that it wasn't the same without the girls there. I didn't even call to tell her I made it home.
The best part of going away was the homecoming! When I got to the airport I had to walk from Terminal E to Terminal C to meet J. Wow, what a long walk when you are trying to get to your sweetheart! I couldn't wait to see her! There she was sitting there in her bright yellow shirt that she knows I love to see her in! After embracing, she immediately handed me my wedding ring. When we got in the car, her CD player started playing our song, "You're My Everything." When we got home, J said for me to take my suitcase to the bedroom. How unbutch of her! When I got to the bedroom, there were a dozen red roses on my pillow! See, I told you she was romantic! We spent a GREAT afternoon together, and she took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant where I promptly got tipsy on two margaritas. Back home again to snuggle and talk about life. When were in bed, she asked me if I had changed soap or shampoo while at my grandmother's. She said something was different. I was so happy she noticed! I had nostalgically bought Love's Baby Soft while in Florida. It is a fragrance I used to wear when we together in high school. See, I can be romantic, too. I brought her three home grown tomatoes and a jar of homemade apple butter from Florida. She said she doesn't want me to go on any more trips for a long time. It was so hard to see her leave for work this morning. It felt sooo good to be missed!
The best part of going away was the homecoming! When I got to the airport I had to walk from Terminal E to Terminal C to meet J. Wow, what a long walk when you are trying to get to your sweetheart! I couldn't wait to see her! There she was sitting there in her bright yellow shirt that she knows I love to see her in! After embracing, she immediately handed me my wedding ring. When we got in the car, her CD player started playing our song, "You're My Everything." When we got home, J said for me to take my suitcase to the bedroom. How unbutch of her! When I got to the bedroom, there were a dozen red roses on my pillow! See, I told you she was romantic! We spent a GREAT afternoon together, and she took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant where I promptly got tipsy on two margaritas. Back home again to snuggle and talk about life. When were in bed, she asked me if I had changed soap or shampoo while at my grandmother's. She said something was different. I was so happy she noticed! I had nostalgically bought Love's Baby Soft while in Florida. It is a fragrance I used to wear when we together in high school. See, I can be romantic, too. I brought her three home grown tomatoes and a jar of homemade apple butter from Florida. She said she doesn't want me to go on any more trips for a long time. It was so hard to see her leave for work this morning. It felt sooo good to be missed!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Coming Out of the Closet
Um, Grandma, I'm gay.
Um, Grandma, I'm a lesbian.
Um, Grandma, I'm in love with a woman.
Um, Grandma, do you have any idea what I'm about to tell you?
Decisions, decisions. How am I going to announce it this week, and when do I tell her? At the beginning, middle, or end of the trip? Maybe I should take a vote?
My Day Off
Here is a photo of us before when walked down the path to the chapel. I love this photo because no one can tell that it is a wedding photo. BIG HINT: I wasn't crying yet. It was taken before we had any flowers. It's like a mystery. Anyone looking at it would think we were just dressed in street clothes, walking in a mall or something, when, actually, we were inside the Flamingo Hotel, getting ready to do something we could only dream of 30 years ago.
So today was my first official "day off." Wow, time flies. I spent it at the post office, in traffic, counselor's office, in traffic, doctor's office, in traffic, home, on the phone with an idiot. Am now taking a breath to ponder things:
1. I truly believe that one of the requirements for applying for employment at the United States Postal Service is to be as slow moving as possible. And to enjoy chitchatting about anything and everything not related to what you are supposed to be doing.
2. I truly believe that doctor's office scales are rigged and that it DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE in your weight if you take your shoes off and everything out of your pockets before weighing.
3. I truly believe that if you should not drink, drive, and text on your phone all at the same time, especially if you are not able to do it and stay in your own freakin lane or notice when the traffic light turns green.
4. I truly believe that good friends are hard to find. It is hard to be open to new friendships when you are not completely "out", not knowing whom to trust and how much to tell.
5. I truly believe that it is not good karma to read about a plane crash killing two hundred plus people two days before you are to fly out of state.
6. And last but definitely not least, I truly believe that I am and forever will be in love with J. I am SO HAPPY she is feeling better!!!! I am going to miss her sooooo much while I am gone.
So today was my first official "day off." Wow, time flies. I spent it at the post office, in traffic, counselor's office, in traffic, doctor's office, in traffic, home, on the phone with an idiot. Am now taking a breath to ponder things:
1. I truly believe that one of the requirements for applying for employment at the United States Postal Service is to be as slow moving as possible. And to enjoy chitchatting about anything and everything not related to what you are supposed to be doing.
2. I truly believe that doctor's office scales are rigged and that it DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE in your weight if you take your shoes off and everything out of your pockets before weighing.
3. I truly believe that if you should not drink, drive, and text on your phone all at the same time, especially if you are not able to do it and stay in your own freakin lane or notice when the traffic light turns green.
4. I truly believe that good friends are hard to find. It is hard to be open to new friendships when you are not completely "out", not knowing whom to trust and how much to tell.
5. I truly believe that it is not good karma to read about a plane crash killing two hundred plus people two days before you are to fly out of state.
6. And last but definitely not least, I truly believe that I am and forever will be in love with J. I am SO HAPPY she is feeling better!!!! I am going to miss her sooooo much while I am gone.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
My Youngest
Wow! How I miss her! I bought her that blouse for summer camp, but she has been wearing it a lot! Maybe she misses her mom, too!!
Friday, May 29, 2009
It's Over
My school year is FINALLY over. It was such a bittersweet day. This is by far the hardest year teaching I have ever had, and I have had some HARD years, especially in the beginning of my career. I received some of the most beautifully written notes from some parents that I will cherish forever. I thought I had done such a crappy job this year, but I guess the parents feel otherwise. My class for "next year" is filling up, and they are now talking about capping it, which means not letting some kids enroll, which is killing my boss, I know. She would take them all because of the money.
J and I have decided that I will take all of June off (I am leaving Wed. for Florida). If I have not found a job by the end of June, then I will stay where I am. A main reason I feel so much stress in my job is because I took over the class in October because the teacher became ill and could not teach anymore. There were very few materials for the kids to work with, the closet was full of junk (and still is), and I was never given time to make the materials I needed, organize a calendar, get my head above water (unless I had been willing to do it at home, which I refused to do). I wouldn't mind bringing work home if it was because I ran out of time, but I was rarely given any planning time. So if I have July and part of August to make my calendar, put the materials together (three moms have volunteered to help and one is buying me a file cabinet), and drag everything out of that stupid closet and see what I even have and what I want to toss, then I will feel so much more equipped to do a good job. I did not feel I could make very many changes to the classroom since the kids had already had things a certain way. Keeping their routine helped them get used to me. Also, if I stay, there are things that I want put in writing on my contract that were not there before: 1) I must get my planning time each day, which means, also, that I must have time to have parent/teacher conferences at least twice each year. 2) I must have an assistant at all times. There has to be consistency in these kids' days. 3) I am paid for December break (my boss still owes me a lot of money from last December). 4) I will not do child care before or after school!
My one big concern about going back next year is my possible coming out accidentally. Most of the parents I know right now would probably not have a problem with my sexuality, but I fear that my boss's religious beliefs might really make it difficult in my situation. I really don't think she would fire me during the school year, but I feel that she would lose her respect for me and be even more difficult to work with.
I have learned this week that I have more control over my work situation than I originally thought. I have learned to be more assertive with my boss, and I eventually get my way. I AM RUNNING THE PROGRAM. She really is relying on me to make all the decisions, even though she tries to make it appear that she does.
I will still be looking daily for a new job, but I do not feel the stress of "Oh, no, what if I can't find another job?" going on inside me. I don't know. It could be because my year is over and I have a month off. Maybe I will feel differently the closer to the end of June we get.
Thanks for listening to all the rambling during the year!
J and I have decided that I will take all of June off (I am leaving Wed. for Florida). If I have not found a job by the end of June, then I will stay where I am. A main reason I feel so much stress in my job is because I took over the class in October because the teacher became ill and could not teach anymore. There were very few materials for the kids to work with, the closet was full of junk (and still is), and I was never given time to make the materials I needed, organize a calendar, get my head above water (unless I had been willing to do it at home, which I refused to do). I wouldn't mind bringing work home if it was because I ran out of time, but I was rarely given any planning time. So if I have July and part of August to make my calendar, put the materials together (three moms have volunteered to help and one is buying me a file cabinet), and drag everything out of that stupid closet and see what I even have and what I want to toss, then I will feel so much more equipped to do a good job. I did not feel I could make very many changes to the classroom since the kids had already had things a certain way. Keeping their routine helped them get used to me. Also, if I stay, there are things that I want put in writing on my contract that were not there before: 1) I must get my planning time each day, which means, also, that I must have time to have parent/teacher conferences at least twice each year. 2) I must have an assistant at all times. There has to be consistency in these kids' days. 3) I am paid for December break (my boss still owes me a lot of money from last December). 4) I will not do child care before or after school!
My one big concern about going back next year is my possible coming out accidentally. Most of the parents I know right now would probably not have a problem with my sexuality, but I fear that my boss's religious beliefs might really make it difficult in my situation. I really don't think she would fire me during the school year, but I feel that she would lose her respect for me and be even more difficult to work with.
I have learned this week that I have more control over my work situation than I originally thought. I have learned to be more assertive with my boss, and I eventually get my way. I AM RUNNING THE PROGRAM. She really is relying on me to make all the decisions, even though she tries to make it appear that she does.
I will still be looking daily for a new job, but I do not feel the stress of "Oh, no, what if I can't find another job?" going on inside me. I don't know. It could be because my year is over and I have a month off. Maybe I will feel differently the closer to the end of June we get.
Thanks for listening to all the rambling during the year!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wardrobe Change
Remember when 6-yr-old girl S told me that I look like her dad and I said I might need a wardrobe change? Well, S has done it again! Today she said, "Ms. B, you and I could be like boyfriend and girlfriend. You can be the boy, and I can be the girl. " Ugh! I don't like wearing skirts or dresses to work because I am up and down from the floor all day, but I have seriously got to think hard about the clothes I am wearing and make a change! And yesterday I found out from another blog that I will not mention that the vehicle I drive (Saturn Vue with stickshift) is considered butch! I suppose that J's Mustang is considered femme? Want to trade me, J?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Tuesday News
Well, we woke up, and J wasn't feeling too well. She had a dr's appt scheduled for 3:45 p.m anyway. She stayed home from work, which told me she was really feeling lousy. I was afraid that she may have had an incisional hernia because of her symptoms. I went to work but could not keep my mind on my job. I was supposed to come home and pick her up around 3. I left work around 11:00. People at work know J as my "sister." I hate having to lie, but you never know with schools, parents, etc. So I took my sister to the dr. and everything is fine! It is just some fluid buildup which should go away. I still don't understand why she had the pain; she hasn't had that much pain in awhile and was able to go to work half days last week. But PTL! She IS on the road to recovery afterall!!!!
This is not a good picture because it is so dark, but it is a photo of the minister (on the left) and J (on the right) waiting for me to come down the aisle. The photographer took a photo (which I have no digital copy of) of J closeup about two seconds after this photo, waiting for me to come down the aisle. I think it is my favorite photo of her because she looks so happy!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Part 2: Eye of the Storm
Part 2. Watch Part 1 first, please. A teacher studies the effects of segregation and racism on a grade 3 classroom. Part 3 is about the reunion of her former third graders from Riceville, Iowa, a white majority town, to see how much of her blue eyes/brown eyes exercises they had retained. Parts 4 through 6 is an exercise with adult employees at a prison instead of 3rd graders. Their behaviors are amazing. Notice the cocky blue-eyed woman (with the gum) and man (against the wall) at the beginning and the end of the exercise.
Eye of the Storm
Originally called "The Eye of the Storm" in the early '70's, my fourth grade teacher made us watch this documentary on a movie (reel) projector. Every since (1971), Jane Elliot has been a heroine to me, teaching about discrimination in a totally unique way. Everytime I hear the song "High Hopes", I think about her. I have followed her for several years. She continued doing similar workshops at prisones and companies around the country. There are some youtubes of these. You can also now find her DVDs at libraries, but they are titled "A Class Divided." I encourage you to watch the programs in their entirety. They are amazing. There are also parts 3,4, 5 and 6 to these youtubes.
Jane Elliott, internationally known teacher, lecturer, diversity trainer, and recipient of the National Mental Health Association Award for Excellence in Education, exposes prejudice and bigotry for what it is, an irrational class system based upon purely arbitrary factors. And if you think this does not apply to you. . . you are in for a rude awakening.
In response to the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. over thirty years ago, Jane Elliott devised the controversial and startling, "Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes" exercise. This, now famous, exercise labels participants as inferior or superior based solely upon the color of their eyes and exposes them to the experience of being a minority. Everyone who is exposed to Jane Elliott's work, be it through a lecture, workshop, or video, is dramatically affected by it. Decades after she stopped teaching in Riceville, Iowa schools, she is still not welcome in the community. She supposedly “is detested by residents as an arrogant, self-centered opportunist who turned against her town and inflicted untold harm on hundreds of Riceville’s children.”
Getting Lost
Okay, I thought I was doing a "good" thing, going for a 2-mile walk on a holiday when I could be gelling out at home. Wrong. I started on my journey in the south side parking lot at Myers Park. I knew the trails were not marked very well, but I wanted to take the 1.27 mile trail. Everytime I would get to a fork, I would take the outside one because the last time I took the inside trail, I was back at my car in less time than it takes to make a three-minute egg.
So I am walking along with my protein water in one hand and my cell phone in the other. How boring. Oh, I should call someone to make the time pass faster, I think to myself. I call my friend V. We get to talking, and about 45 minutes later, I say to V, "I think I am lost. Nothing looks familiar. I should have been back to the park a looooong time ago. I have passed baseball fields, soccer fields, and several fishing ponds. The trail is too straight, not to mention that quite a ways back I went under a bridge at a major street. There WAS a park now, but it was on my left, not on my right, where it should be. I know about what two miles looks and feels like, as that was pretty much my daily routine for years.
V said, "Why don't you just follow someone, B?" I said, "Because they are all going the opposite direction, bikers, walkers, joggers. I mean, wouldn't you think that you would eventually end up back where you started, even if you took the "long way around?" Wrong. I finally asked a woman who almost walked into me while she was checking her Ipod, "Where does this go? Will I end up back at Myers Park?" She looked at me liked I was nuts. "No, you are a loong way from Myers Park. If you keep going, you will end up at Collins Park, which is where I started from." I estimate that I went about 2.5 miles total before turning around and following the woman.
On my way back, I found a map, which I had missed the first time around, because I was so involved in my phone conversation. I could not believe where I had gone. However, "Collins Park" is on the east side of I-45, miles and miles away, so I find it kind of hard to believe that the woman had started there. But, hey, maybe she had, but how was she going to get there without turning around? If she did start there, my hat is off to the woman, cuz it must have taken a long time walking it. I just can't see myself spending that long walking. Walking is just soooo boring to me.
I need to lose weight so badly, but that is not really why I am walking. I am more worried about my blood pressure and my mental health at this point. Exercise is really supposed to help with anxiety and depression, both of which I have. Although, personally, it never has really seemed to help me that much in those areas. If you have something in your life to depress you or stress you, that is the way it is. But maybe it will help me deal with those things in a more constructive way.
Above is one of my favorite parts from Benny and Joon. Smile and enjoy!
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