I want you all to know that I haven't forgotten to finish the Entrapment story. I have just been soooo stressed about getting a new job. Thinking about actually writing that story down just stresses me out more. I should know something today or tomorrow. I am going in for a second interview today to meet the second attorney, so PLEASE keep praying or sending good thoughts!
Yesterday was a looooong day. I put 220 miles on my car in such a short time. I went with K19 to the college and then signed her up for classes. Then I went to Houston, to the medical center to have my mammogram. (Preface: I have an appt with a surgeon Thursday who I am supposed to take ultrasound films to, along with the mammogram films.) So I get to the mammogram place and they say I am supposed to have a mammogram AND an ultrasound. I had already called my ob/gyn and told him I didn't need an ultrasound, already had one. That the ob/gyn had accidentally checked the ultrasound box.
So the mammogram lady said, "Well, where are the ultrasound films?" I told her that they were at the other hospital, where I had the ultrasound done, and that I was supposed to pick them up Wednesday (today) to take to surgeon on Thursday. She said that the radiologist WOULD NOT do a mammogram without having the ultrasound films first. (Are you getting any of this?)
So I had to cancel my mammogram appt and reschedule for Wednesday (today). They will try to fit me in around 1:00. Then I had to drive back through Houston to the other hospital. I told them, "I know I told you I would pick up the films tomorrow (Wednesday-today), but I really need them today, because I have a job interview tomorrow." Praise God, the films were ready!
Then I drove back by the apt to put the films in there because it is over 100 degrees out here, drove all the way back to Tomball (where my kids live), picked up K15 and took her to the college to study for two hours. Then we went to have our nails done and out to eat. Then I had to drive back to Tomball to take her home and then back into Houston to our apt.
I hope today is a bit less busy.
Talk to you guys later! Got to go put on my business suit!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Another Interesting Employment Opportunity
Engineering services company looking for an office assistant, where your duties will include… well, ummm, if you can think it, you’ll probably be asked to do it.
Ideal Candidate:
Inherently Nurturing
Fashionable
PC savvy- Microsoft Office, Outlook, Adobe Acrobat is a plus!
Trustworthy with confidential information
Honest, hardworking, level-headed and canny ... these are the hardest ones to find.
Does not take life sooooo seriously
Has very few “blonde moments”
Socially Adaptable (can tell lewd jokes one minute and be professional when needed)
Deal with Engineers and Techs without biting! If you do, don’t bite hard.
Understand and obey the phrase “Do not surf the internet while at work”
Think… Girl Friday- A 'go to' girl; a female who will help you get things taken care of; a female you can rely on when you are in need of extra assistance; a female who acts as a 'jack of all trades' and is capable of doing almost anything; a girl you can count on when you are overwhelmed with your own chores and the duties must be done; a girl who does most of the leg work on a project, but never takes (or gets) credit. “When you need extra help....I'm your Girl Friday.”
We encourage Guy Fridays too! The owner has been variously described as “fastidious and fussy” to “jerk-face”. Heed this warning: If you wear your feelings on your sleeve, this is NOT the job for you. Please, don’t waste your time or ours. Drama Queens need NOT apply! btw… We have Geek-Fest Fridays; n00bs get pwnd by the uber-nerds! No digitards allowed! w00t!
Compensation: Pay starts at $10/hour but can increase quickly for the person willing to go above and beyond.
Now, who wouldn't LOVE a job like that for ten whole bucks an hour?
Ideal Candidate:
Inherently Nurturing
Fashionable
PC savvy- Microsoft Office, Outlook, Adobe Acrobat is a plus!
Trustworthy with confidential information
Honest, hardworking, level-headed and canny ... these are the hardest ones to find.
Does not take life sooooo seriously
Has very few “blonde moments”
Socially Adaptable (can tell lewd jokes one minute and be professional when needed)
Deal with Engineers and Techs without biting! If you do, don’t bite hard.
Understand and obey the phrase “Do not surf the internet while at work”
Think… Girl Friday- A 'go to' girl; a female who will help you get things taken care of; a female you can rely on when you are in need of extra assistance; a female who acts as a 'jack of all trades' and is capable of doing almost anything; a girl you can count on when you are overwhelmed with your own chores and the duties must be done; a girl who does most of the leg work on a project, but never takes (or gets) credit. “When you need extra help....I'm your Girl Friday.”
We encourage Guy Fridays too! The owner has been variously described as “fastidious and fussy” to “jerk-face”. Heed this warning: If you wear your feelings on your sleeve, this is NOT the job for you. Please, don’t waste your time or ours. Drama Queens need NOT apply! btw… We have Geek-Fest Fridays; n00bs get pwnd by the uber-nerds! No digitards allowed! w00t!
Compensation: Pay starts at $10/hour but can increase quickly for the person willing to go above and beyond.
Now, who wouldn't LOVE a job like that for ten whole bucks an hour?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
SPLIT
I have been reading about 20 blogs per day now for about six months or so. The majority of the blogs are written by lesbians in a partner/marriage relationship because that's what I am really interested in -- making acquaintances with others in our situation.
Today I read that one of the couples split. Just like that -- split up. No words of sadness, regret, drama written on the blog. Only that they just "split." This is, I think, the third couple in the past six months that I have been reading that have parted. Now, I am SURE that there is much more to it that has not been written on their blogs, things that they never wanted to share with the cyberworld. I mean, who wants to write about all the downs in a relationship or when things get rocky. I am not going in that direction.
What I am pondering is this: How likely is it that the rest of you "partners" that I read about will stay together? Does anyone have statistics on that? The percentage of GLBTs who stay together? I'm not talking about dating couples. I'm talking about those couples who have made a public/private "commitment" to one another, and especially those of you who are raising a family together. I sometimes worry that J and I will not be able to stay together. It is always a constant fear in the back of my mind. I mean, both of our families and most of my friends are on pins and needles waiting for it to happen, for us to break up.
And there are some times in our relationship when I say to myself, "Oh, yeah, this is one of the reasons we didn't stay together before." I only seem to remember the good memories, not our struggles that we had. It's like I completely blocked them all out. J and I sometimes talk about it, that we both believe we would not have been able to stay together before. We were soooo young (well, so are many of you). I wanted kids (well, so do many of you, and some of you are doing something about it). We were petrified our friends and family would find out and were afraid of the unknown. Remember, it was the early '80s for us. We basically stayed in our apartment all the time with our blinds literally closed. The past is the past; there is no way of changing that.
BUT we have waited so long, 30 years, to be together. How can we split up now? It seems like it would take an atomic bomb to tear us apart. We have worked so hard and been through so much to get where we are. This time last year, we were sneaking around, emotionally and physically drawn to one another like a wildfire to a forest. We hardly ever argued, except for when I drank. Now that things are more settled, we seem to get into more disagreements. And there is more drama. I believe that is for several reasons: 1) We are still under a TREMENDOUS amount of stress, 2) We haven't live together for a long time. It takes awhile to get all the kinks worked out, 3) We are passionate about one another. I think that is where a lot of the drama comes into play. My ex and I hardly ever argued or sulked or anything. We just got along. But I think that is because the deep feelings were not there. There was no reason to fight or cry or be scared, because it there was no treasure at stake. Really, the only thing there was to fight for were my kids. Otherwise, I just let things go, or he just let things go.
However, sometimes when J and I argue, I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. I ask myself, "What will be the final straw? What will it take for her to walk out the door and never come back? Will it be something big or little? Will she just one day say that she's had enough?"
In my heart I believe that J and I WILL stay together, and I pray that those of you reading my blog will, too. She and I definitely have more good times than bad. We don't enjoy sleeping apart, even if it because one of us (I won't say which) is snoring like a duck. We would rather do things together than apart (that includes errands like grocery shopping and bank runs.) As I am sitting here typing away, knowing she is in the other room on the sofa with a backache, I can barely contain myself from walking in there to kiss her. I know we will be okay. If the passion and drama is there when we are getting along, why would it not be there when we don't?
Anyway, if anyone can give me statistics on gay "divorce" rates that are accurate, please let me know.
On another note, we are in need of prayer for several reasons:
1) My car is in the shop, and it is going to be expensive to fix. I just thank God that I did not stall on my way to the interview yesterday.
2) My interview. I sent a follow-up e-mail to the attorney and received one in return, saying that I am still being considered, and that he will make a decision next week. I really want this job, folks. But I have to remember that it is not about me, it is about God's will for my life and career. I went back to the school today to retrieve some work to do this week in preparation for the new year. I am still trying to stay positive about the job without obsessing over whether I get it or not.
3) J's back has really been bothering her the past few days. I am really worried about her.
4) Please pray that my daughters will continue to call and ask me for advice. It makes me feel so good that they are both finally doing that, that they are starting to trust me a little bit more to ask me for help (especially the older one.) They both have a habit of texting me first to see if they can call me. I have told them both that they do not have to ask permission to call me; just call me. If I can't come to the phone, I won't answer it.
Thanks for your prayers and good thoughts!
Monday, July 6, 2009
My Day of Impressions
Today was a day of impressions. A lot of good it did me.
Well, I went to the interview. The attorney stated over and over how impressed he was with my resume (THANK YOU J AND JD!). It went well, but somehow, some way, someone cut in line in front of me and has better connections than I do. Oh, well. I guess sometimes impressions aren't all they are cracked up to be.
Anyway, I was only about 20 minutes away, so I went by J's work and picked her up around 11:00 ish, and we went to lunch. Baked potato for me; bbq sandwich for her. We talked about the interview and what to write on the follow-up e-mail. A couple of times during this drive, my car would not shift into 4th gear. It kept making a grinding sound, and I had to stay in 3rd gear for awhile.
Took J back to work and headed home to change clothes. Was to meet K19 at 1:45 at the college in the town I used to live in to talk to financial aid. Ran late because there was a MAJOR car wreck on the bypass. Finally got to the college and found out that there was more paperwork to fill out, and had to call my ex to bring our tax return up there. Not sure why since K19 is paying for college herself, but oh well.
Was supposed to pick K15 up from work at 3:00 p.m. By the time we met with the financial aid advisor and turned everything in, it was close to 3:00 pm. I was to pick K15 up and bring her back to the college library to do our schoolwork. At 2:59 on the nose, around the corner from daughter's work, while trying to pull out of a four-way stop, I hear a popping noise as I tried to put the car in 1st gear. Then it would not shift. I could only stay in neutral.
I knew I was near some baseball fields. And, wouldn't you know, I was right behind my old church! Here I am literally in the middle of my old small town, where I used to have about 40 friends, and I could not call any of them. Well, one, L. We will get to that. I got out of the car and started pushing it through the stop sign and turned right. Then pushed it down the street a bit and then to the left into the baseball field parking lot. All of this in flip-flops and 99 degree or more heat. As I was pushing, I noticed an older lady drive by.
The engine was still running, so I got back into the car to cool off for a bit. Called my ex to come back into town and pick up K15. Called J and told her I was stalled. Then the old woman came into the parking lot and asked me to roll my window down. She told me that she just had to come by and say how impressed she was that I was pushing the car and how I had really thought it through. (Um, there wasn't really much to think about.) She offered to take me back to her house, which I declined. I told her someone was on their way and thanked her. She stayed for a few minutes and left, saying again how she never would have thought of that and how impressed she was. ????
Thanks to my friend L, who gave me the name of a garage nearby which towed my car. Thanks to J for changing her evening plans and leaving work early to pick me up so that I would not have to sit in the heat. And thanks to my girls for understanding that I cannot take them to Galveston tomorrow as planned. I offered them swim time tomorrow at the apartments to make up for it, but now it is supposed to rain.
Well, I went to the interview. The attorney stated over and over how impressed he was with my resume (THANK YOU J AND JD!). It went well, but somehow, some way, someone cut in line in front of me and has better connections than I do. Oh, well. I guess sometimes impressions aren't all they are cracked up to be.
Anyway, I was only about 20 minutes away, so I went by J's work and picked her up around 11:00 ish, and we went to lunch. Baked potato for me; bbq sandwich for her. We talked about the interview and what to write on the follow-up e-mail. A couple of times during this drive, my car would not shift into 4th gear. It kept making a grinding sound, and I had to stay in 3rd gear for awhile.
Took J back to work and headed home to change clothes. Was to meet K19 at 1:45 at the college in the town I used to live in to talk to financial aid. Ran late because there was a MAJOR car wreck on the bypass. Finally got to the college and found out that there was more paperwork to fill out, and had to call my ex to bring our tax return up there. Not sure why since K19 is paying for college herself, but oh well.
Was supposed to pick K15 up from work at 3:00 p.m. By the time we met with the financial aid advisor and turned everything in, it was close to 3:00 pm. I was to pick K15 up and bring her back to the college library to do our schoolwork. At 2:59 on the nose, around the corner from daughter's work, while trying to pull out of a four-way stop, I hear a popping noise as I tried to put the car in 1st gear. Then it would not shift. I could only stay in neutral.
I knew I was near some baseball fields. And, wouldn't you know, I was right behind my old church! Here I am literally in the middle of my old small town, where I used to have about 40 friends, and I could not call any of them. Well, one, L. We will get to that. I got out of the car and started pushing it through the stop sign and turned right. Then pushed it down the street a bit and then to the left into the baseball field parking lot. All of this in flip-flops and 99 degree or more heat. As I was pushing, I noticed an older lady drive by.
The engine was still running, so I got back into the car to cool off for a bit. Called my ex to come back into town and pick up K15. Called J and told her I was stalled. Then the old woman came into the parking lot and asked me to roll my window down. She told me that she just had to come by and say how impressed she was that I was pushing the car and how I had really thought it through. (Um, there wasn't really much to think about.) She offered to take me back to her house, which I declined. I told her someone was on their way and thanked her. She stayed for a few minutes and left, saying again how she never would have thought of that and how impressed she was. ????
Thanks to my friend L, who gave me the name of a garage nearby which towed my car. Thanks to J for changing her evening plans and leaving work early to pick me up so that I would not have to sit in the heat. And thanks to my girls for understanding that I cannot take them to Galveston tomorrow as planned. I offered them swim time tomorrow at the apartments to make up for it, but now it is supposed to rain.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Our Weekend
Bought two Aqua Globes this weekend on sale at Walmart. My mother swears by these things. One is for our lemon tree, so that I don't kill it. Now I have to get a plant to go with the other one. Wish they made miniature ones for Bonsai plants.
If someone could please give me a quick rundown on how to post pictures in the middle of your post, I would appreciate it. I have tried cutting and pasting; that didn't work. I have tried hitting the "add image" icon in the middle of a post; that didn't work. My pictures ALWAYS show up at the beginning of my posts.
This weekend we mainly relaxed. We did go to church this morning for the first time in a long time. Not many people there because of the holiday, I guess.
Tomorrow I have an interview at 10:30, so please pray for me. This time I am determined not to get my hopes up. If some of my Houston readers get a reference call, PLEASE give me a positive reference! LOL
In the afternoon I am meeting K19 at the college to talk to them about financial aid. Then doing schoolwork with K15.
Tuesday I am taking the girls and a friend to Schlitterbahn in Galveston. I just found out tonight that my girls can no longer have friends over to spend the night. I had not known that before. Makes sense, though, since there is only a man there. Now I am back to feeling very guilty again for taking yet another childhood enjoyment out of their lives.
I would like to shout out to two people today:
V - I am praying for you and Katie Rose (that's her dog that is ill)
L - I am praying for you, too, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRL!!!
Oh, I just realized something. I forgot to tell you that J and I gave Tana away last Saturday to a family of four soon to be five. We won't go into why she is no longer here and how difficult it was to let her go. It was just not the right time or place for us to have a pooch right now. Suffice to say they have renamed her, and she is doing well there.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Ass in the Trash (Don't read if you are squeamish.)
I had made an appointment with my new OB/GYN. He announced that he was going to do a pap test and a rectal exam. Okay, so I kinda freaked out. I mean just the words rectal exam had my heart racing, my blood pressure up, and my legs ready to bolt out the door. You, see -- ahem -- well, okay, I will admit it. We are all adults here anyway, right? I had been having a bit of trouble with hemorroids in the past, and the thought of a rectal exam was extremely stressful to me. I knew it was gonna hurt like fire up my ass and that blood would probably be everywhere.
So we go through all the other parts of the exam, and he announces, "Now, for the rectal exam!" Bam! Wow! He torpedoed me like a razor blade! I was in sooo much pain, let me tell you! I was trying not to cry out. When it was over, I was shaking so much that I could barely walk over to my clothes to put them back on.
Then the nurse walked into the room carrying a tiny paper bag. She said, "You need to carry this specimen downstairs to the lab and drop it off." I reminded her that I needed to use a certain lab because of my insurance, and was that the correct lab?
Do you know what that bitch did? She turned around, walked over to the trash can, stepped on the pedal, opened the lid, and threw the bag into the trash! I said to her, "What was that you just threw away?" She said, "Your rectal specimen. For that lab, you have to do it yourself at home." And she shoved an envelope in my hand that was supposed to have directions inside on how to do it to yourself. I was beyond pissed off. I couldn't think straight. I wanted to yell and scream at the nurse and say, "You turn around and go get that paper bag out of that trash can this minute, bitch! Do you hear me? Look at me when I'm talking to you! How dare you throw that specimen in the trash! Do you have any idea what I just went through?"
So horrified that I asked myself: What about my pap test? Do I have to do that to myself, too? How could I do that? (I'm laughing about that now.)
I asked, "What about my pap test?" She said that that specimen could go to that lab. So I went through the whole stupid rectal exam for nothing!
So to lighten things up a bit, I will tell you an old joke that my grandfather used to tell me:
A proctologist was in surgery, working on a patient. The nurse came in with an iced cold beer on an instrument tray. The proctologist said to the nurse, "No, nurse. I asked for a butt light!"
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Our Day
BOTH girls -- read it -- BOTH GIRLS came over to our apartment today! We started out by them going in the bathroom and changing. I could tell that K19 was a bit nervous. I said, "What do you think of our apartment?" She replied, "It's small."
We went swimming. For once, it was not 103 degrees outside, cloudy and threats of rain. After about an hour, the girls started getting hungry, so we went back to the apartment to change. I don't know if K19 went in the bedroom or not. J says that I obsess about my kids going into the bedroom.
I ordered a fancy pizza because that's the cool thing to do. We watched "Riding the Bus With My Sister" which we had taped from the Hallmark Channel and ate the pizza. Then K15 and I got down to business to do Spanish and Science work for two hours while K19 watched TV and read. I kind of hinted that 5:00 would be a good time to call it a day; they had been here since 11:00. So, all in all, a great day. I did not sit on the couch with them like I had planned to do, but they both seemed relaxed and content. I did catch K19 poking around the kitchen at one point. I think she is just kind of curious.
Soon, I will have to start putting mine and J's photo on the frig. I refuse to put it in a drawer every time the girls come by. It has to come out sometime. I figure that by Christmas, I will be wearing my wedding band full time.
We went swimming. For once, it was not 103 degrees outside, cloudy and threats of rain. After about an hour, the girls started getting hungry, so we went back to the apartment to change. I don't know if K19 went in the bedroom or not. J says that I obsess about my kids going into the bedroom.
I ordered a fancy pizza because that's the cool thing to do. We watched "Riding the Bus With My Sister" which we had taped from the Hallmark Channel and ate the pizza. Then K15 and I got down to business to do Spanish and Science work for two hours while K19 watched TV and read. I kind of hinted that 5:00 would be a good time to call it a day; they had been here since 11:00. So, all in all, a great day. I did not sit on the couch with them like I had planned to do, but they both seemed relaxed and content. I did catch K19 poking around the kitchen at one point. I think she is just kind of curious.
Soon, I will have to start putting mine and J's photo on the frig. I refuse to put it in a drawer every time the girls come by. It has to come out sometime. I figure that by Christmas, I will be wearing my wedding band full time.
Shocker!
Last night I took K19 out for her birthday dinner. We went to the Cheesecake Factory and to Barnes and Noble afterwards. I bought her the Marlee Matlin autobiography she has been wanting to read. Had a wonderful time with her. She is so precious.
Anyway, the shocker is this: she is coming over to our apartment tomorrow with her sister! That is something I thought I would never see! She is driving her over here. I am going to do science and Spanish with K15, and then we are going swimming. May even have time to sit on the couch together and watch a movie!!!!
I will let you know how it goes.
Anyway, the shocker is this: she is coming over to our apartment tomorrow with her sister! That is something I thought I would never see! She is driving her over here. I am going to do science and Spanish with K15, and then we are going swimming. May even have time to sit on the couch together and watch a movie!!!!
I will let you know how it goes.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Entrapment Part 4
I will try to make this part short, as I know this story is dragging on. K11 woke up the next day with a migraine. Of course, S had made many plans during the day: St. Paul - Children's Museum and other things. She seemed actually quite peeved about K11's headache, like the migraine was planned or something. By now, K7 had made her new best friend, S, so the two of them went to the Children's Museum together while I stayed with K11. She did her usually vomitting bit and then slept for about four hours. By then, she was feeling well enough to go somewhere, not perfect, but she did not want to miss out. So I called S to come and get us.
That day was the turning point in S's behaviour. She treated K7 like a princess and K11 like snot. And this is a teacher I'm talking about. Never in the year I had taught with her had I ever heard her talk to a child this way, even the ones who misbehaved. Actually, she had always had a way with the misbehaved kids or the slow learners; in our class those were the kids she gave most of the attention to. K11 still was not feeling up to par, and S kept insisting that she figure out the tip at dinner. K11 started crying, looking at me for support. I politely asked S to "cool it", reinforcing the fact that K11 was recuperating from a migraine, and had not gotten to decimals or percents yet in math. Why was it so important to S that K11 figure out the tip? Did every meal have to be a math lesson? K11 was on vacation for crying out loud. These were the things I was saying to myself in my head. And, yes, I was giving K11 special attention because S was paying NO ATTENTION to her whatsoever and making her feel like shit. I do remember calling my ex several times telling him about S's behaviour, and he kept telling me to be K11's buddy since obviously K7 had a new buddy.
That night, K7 was bringing in a shirt or something on a hanger from the laundry room, and she motioned to K11 to take it from her. K11 obviously didn't notice her and did not turn around to take the shirt, walking into the apt empty-handed. Now, remember I said we have suspected that she has some Asperger symptoms? This has always been an issue with K11. She could see me standing in front of the door with a pile of groceries in my hand, my purse, balancing a drink, and she would never offer to take something from me. She has never seemed to pick up on that visual cue. But if I say, "Hey, these things are heavy," or "I can't manage to get the key in the hole," she would immediately volunteer to take something out of my hand.
Well, anyway, when K11 did not take the shirt, S went ballistic, I mean ballistic! I told the girls to wait in the apt while I followed S back downstairs to the laundry room, and that is where we had our first screaming match. I have never actually yelled or screamed at anyone in my whole life, not even my ex-husband. She screamed at me; I screamed back at her. She was making accusations that I was "coddling" K11, that she really did not have a headache that morning, that she probably forced herself to vomit, that she really does not have learning issues, she is just trying to manipulate me and her teachers in the past and get attention, that she could figure out the tip if she wanted to, that K11 was making K7 do all the work (ahem, it was one shirt on a hanger.) S was screaming at me, drowning out the sounds of the washers and dryers; I kept screaming back at her, that she didn't even try to understand K11's personality or learning issues, that she had been constantly favoring K7 over K11 since we arrived in Minnesota, making K11 feel terrible. People kept coming in and out of the laundry room, listening to two middle-aged crazy women yelling at one another over something soooo stupid. I was crying hysterically; that's what I do when I get angry or frustrated. I didn't know what to do. I had two unhappy kids upstairs (K7 had been crying by now because she felt guilty for getting all of S's attention), no money in the bank to go to a hotel, and we were supposed to leave on our Laura Wilder adventure in the morning.
So after S and I calmed down, we decided that, like a divorcing couple, we would put our differences aside for a couple of days for the kids' sakes and go on the trip. Afterall, that part of the trip was the main reason we had come, to reward them for all their hard work they had done for the school year. They had both looked forward to this trip for so long. Imagine, following the same route that Laura Wilder had traveled!
S made it clear to me that she did not like K11 and would not change her mind about her. I had never, ever heard her tell me that she did not "like" a child! I was deeply hurt. She was saying something about my child I had never heard before. I had always heard the exact opposite from people: how aggreable K11 always was, how she was so polite, had a beautiful smile, how quiet she was but always a friend to everyone, how she tried hard to please.
I really did not have a choice. We had to go on this road trip. We were both adults; we could put this behind us, couldn't we, to make two kids' wishes come true? So we left for Pepin, Wisconsin in the morning.
That day was the turning point in S's behaviour. She treated K7 like a princess and K11 like snot. And this is a teacher I'm talking about. Never in the year I had taught with her had I ever heard her talk to a child this way, even the ones who misbehaved. Actually, she had always had a way with the misbehaved kids or the slow learners; in our class those were the kids she gave most of the attention to. K11 still was not feeling up to par, and S kept insisting that she figure out the tip at dinner. K11 started crying, looking at me for support. I politely asked S to "cool it", reinforcing the fact that K11 was recuperating from a migraine, and had not gotten to decimals or percents yet in math. Why was it so important to S that K11 figure out the tip? Did every meal have to be a math lesson? K11 was on vacation for crying out loud. These were the things I was saying to myself in my head. And, yes, I was giving K11 special attention because S was paying NO ATTENTION to her whatsoever and making her feel like shit. I do remember calling my ex several times telling him about S's behaviour, and he kept telling me to be K11's buddy since obviously K7 had a new buddy.
That night, K7 was bringing in a shirt or something on a hanger from the laundry room, and she motioned to K11 to take it from her. K11 obviously didn't notice her and did not turn around to take the shirt, walking into the apt empty-handed. Now, remember I said we have suspected that she has some Asperger symptoms? This has always been an issue with K11. She could see me standing in front of the door with a pile of groceries in my hand, my purse, balancing a drink, and she would never offer to take something from me. She has never seemed to pick up on that visual cue. But if I say, "Hey, these things are heavy," or "I can't manage to get the key in the hole," she would immediately volunteer to take something out of my hand.
Well, anyway, when K11 did not take the shirt, S went ballistic, I mean ballistic! I told the girls to wait in the apt while I followed S back downstairs to the laundry room, and that is where we had our first screaming match. I have never actually yelled or screamed at anyone in my whole life, not even my ex-husband. She screamed at me; I screamed back at her. She was making accusations that I was "coddling" K11, that she really did not have a headache that morning, that she probably forced herself to vomit, that she really does not have learning issues, she is just trying to manipulate me and her teachers in the past and get attention, that she could figure out the tip if she wanted to, that K11 was making K7 do all the work (ahem, it was one shirt on a hanger.) S was screaming at me, drowning out the sounds of the washers and dryers; I kept screaming back at her, that she didn't even try to understand K11's personality or learning issues, that she had been constantly favoring K7 over K11 since we arrived in Minnesota, making K11 feel terrible. People kept coming in and out of the laundry room, listening to two middle-aged crazy women yelling at one another over something soooo stupid. I was crying hysterically; that's what I do when I get angry or frustrated. I didn't know what to do. I had two unhappy kids upstairs (K7 had been crying by now because she felt guilty for getting all of S's attention), no money in the bank to go to a hotel, and we were supposed to leave on our Laura Wilder adventure in the morning.
So after S and I calmed down, we decided that, like a divorcing couple, we would put our differences aside for a couple of days for the kids' sakes and go on the trip. Afterall, that part of the trip was the main reason we had come, to reward them for all their hard work they had done for the school year. They had both looked forward to this trip for so long. Imagine, following the same route that Laura Wilder had traveled!
S made it clear to me that she did not like K11 and would not change her mind about her. I had never, ever heard her tell me that she did not "like" a child! I was deeply hurt. She was saying something about my child I had never heard before. I had always heard the exact opposite from people: how aggreable K11 always was, how she was so polite, had a beautiful smile, how quiet she was but always a friend to everyone, how she tried hard to please.
I really did not have a choice. We had to go on this road trip. We were both adults; we could put this behind us, couldn't we, to make two kids' wishes come true? So we left for Pepin, Wisconsin in the morning.
Friday, June 26, 2009
It's Hell
It's hell to see your parents and grandparents get old. This is one of my grandmas. She is 93. This is her with Melanie Lawson of Channel 13 where my brother works. My youngest called awhile ago kind of upset. She and my oldest were visiting "Mimi", my grandmother, and my grandmother was appearing "confused." She kept referring to my parents as my kids' parents and wouldn't back down when they tried to correct her. I hate this part of life.
About ten years ago, my ex's father was dying. We packed the girls into a tiny Toyota Tercel and drove straight through to Tulsa to be with him. My ex's family was very critical of us. The girls were 4 and 7 at the time. We took them both in to see their grandfather on his deathbed. No other young children in the family were brought in. Again, the whole family thought that we were nuts.
Their grandfather told them that he was, in fact, going to die soon and go to heaven, that he would never forget about them, would always remember them, that he was not afraid to die, and that, above all, he loved them. Now, 15 and 19, they still remember that moment and still cling to the character pillows he sent them for Christmas the year before. The father-in-law asked us to go back home after four days of vigil. We no sooner reached home, he was gone.
Drove back to Tulsa in the same Toyota a few days later for the wake. The girls, even so young, still remember the wake and still talk about it as if it was yesterday. The wake made a bigger impression on them than the funeral.
Other than their grandfather, they have not been exposed to much death, except for my grandmother's boyfriend; that was pretty traumatic. BUT they have been to several funeral home visits and funerals. They do not seem to be afraid of death. They have even heard of my near death experience.
Parting with "Mimi" will be hard because she is probably the first in the line of many deaths to come, but I am glad for them because I was not exposed much to death until I was 19 or 20, and it made it so much more difficult, I think. Well, K19 is 19, so I guess she is just like me.
When I was 3 weeks old, my dad had an accident. A pipe hit him right in the eyeball. My "Mimi" took care of me while he was in the hospital. She always told me that because she took care of me so young, that I would take care of her when she was dying. So I hope that I will be there for her when she does leave this world. She is afraid of death, unlike my other grandmother. I am not sure she believes in heaven. She goes to church, but she seems to fear death so much.
Anyway, not that she is DYING or anything. I just needed to get this stuff out. Thanks for listening, peeps.
Job
Well, just to let you all know that I did not get the job. They decided not to fill the position after all. I am now hearing info that that principal has a reputation of being difficult to work with, so maybe I dodged a bullet??
Tana had her first bath today, and she did very well. She is now hiding under the bed again, her favorite place. She has really taken to J now. J plays rough with her, and, surprisingly, she likes it.
Her vet appointment went VERY well. She is in perfect health and weighing in at 6.8 lbs. There is one more vaccine that she needs. Will get that soon. She is eating her new food, thank God! No more smelly, smelly Mighty Dog. Will update you with a photo if I can ever get her out from under the bed!
Am bored to tears. May start working on next school year's organizational stuff since it looks like I will be there again. All the Michael Jackson/Farrah Fawcett stuff is depressing, and I am stir crazy. All I can say is that I am so glad that J and I married right away. I would hate to be in Ryan O'Neal's position. He wanted to marry her so badly. As far as Farrah was concerned, I never thought I would fight if I had cancer, but after hearing her struggle, I would probably do it. A lot of people learned from her over the past 2 years. I would rather be remembered as a fighter, not a quitter.
As far as Michael Jackson is concerned, yes, I liked his music and dancing, especially his earlier stuff. I do think he was one of a kind. But I think he was a troubled soul, and I pray that he has finally made peace with himself and with God. I think it stinks that there was no intervention from others earlier in his life. Maybe there was and we just didn't know it. I feel sorry for his kids. But I have to be honest here, if I here "Thriller" one more time, I'm gonna hurl. Uh, there it is again. Pardon me while I head for the toilet.
Tana had her first bath today, and she did very well. She is now hiding under the bed again, her favorite place. She has really taken to J now. J plays rough with her, and, surprisingly, she likes it.
Her vet appointment went VERY well. She is in perfect health and weighing in at 6.8 lbs. There is one more vaccine that she needs. Will get that soon. She is eating her new food, thank God! No more smelly, smelly Mighty Dog. Will update you with a photo if I can ever get her out from under the bed!
Am bored to tears. May start working on next school year's organizational stuff since it looks like I will be there again. All the Michael Jackson/Farrah Fawcett stuff is depressing, and I am stir crazy. All I can say is that I am so glad that J and I married right away. I would hate to be in Ryan O'Neal's position. He wanted to marry her so badly. As far as Farrah was concerned, I never thought I would fight if I had cancer, but after hearing her struggle, I would probably do it. A lot of people learned from her over the past 2 years. I would rather be remembered as a fighter, not a quitter.
As far as Michael Jackson is concerned, yes, I liked his music and dancing, especially his earlier stuff. I do think he was one of a kind. But I think he was a troubled soul, and I pray that he has finally made peace with himself and with God. I think it stinks that there was no intervention from others earlier in his life. Maybe there was and we just didn't know it. I feel sorry for his kids. But I have to be honest here, if I here "Thriller" one more time, I'm gonna hurl. Uh, there it is again. Pardon me while I head for the toilet.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Congratulations!
I want to say "congratulations" to G and C on the birth of their second son, L, last Thursday. Their boys' birthdays are one day apart! He is such a handsome boy! I would love to be called "aunt b" since it is quite obvious that my brother is never going to get around to having kids. Congratulations to M, the new grandma!
Took Tana to the vet today; she is in perfect health. I am thinking about giving her away. Okay, you are probably wondering why. I guess I just have not bonded with her yet, although she has definitely bonded with me. I also feel guilty that she will have to be in a cage during the day once I go back to work. Putting her in the bathroom with the doggie gate did not work. She woke us up twice this week between 3 and 4 a.m. pooping on the carpet, but she has never done that before, so I am hoping it is a fluke thing. She has been eating crap. The vet today told me what kind of food would be better for her. V has a friend who might have a doggie door. I don't know. I am torn. I didn't think J liked her much at first, but she seems to be warming up to her. J calls Tana "Muttley."
I called the school today and left a message for the principal who interviewed me regarding the status of my interview. Her secretary said that she was at a meeting off campus but would be returning in the afternoon. No call. Bummer.
I have started homeschooling the youngest one again. She is starting science and Spanish now, so that she will be done with those classes in March and can concentrate on her theater arts in the spring. She really wants to be a part of the Cinderella production. Rehearsals are brutal for two to three weeks and can really put you behind in your schoolwork. Anyway, I am proud of her for thinking ahead.
J has a four-day work week next week, so I am hoping that we can go do something fun like go to a movie, or to the track, or maybe go see her grandparents' homes.
Talk to you guys later!
Took Tana to the vet today; she is in perfect health. I am thinking about giving her away. Okay, you are probably wondering why. I guess I just have not bonded with her yet, although she has definitely bonded with me. I also feel guilty that she will have to be in a cage during the day once I go back to work. Putting her in the bathroom with the doggie gate did not work. She woke us up twice this week between 3 and 4 a.m. pooping on the carpet, but she has never done that before, so I am hoping it is a fluke thing. She has been eating crap. The vet today told me what kind of food would be better for her. V has a friend who might have a doggie door. I don't know. I am torn. I didn't think J liked her much at first, but she seems to be warming up to her. J calls Tana "Muttley."
I called the school today and left a message for the principal who interviewed me regarding the status of my interview. Her secretary said that she was at a meeting off campus but would be returning in the afternoon. No call. Bummer.
I have started homeschooling the youngest one again. She is starting science and Spanish now, so that she will be done with those classes in March and can concentrate on her theater arts in the spring. She really wants to be a part of the Cinderella production. Rehearsals are brutal for two to three weeks and can really put you behind in your schoolwork. Anyway, I am proud of her for thinking ahead.
J has a four-day work week next week, so I am hoping that we can go do something fun like go to a movie, or to the track, or maybe go see her grandparents' homes.
Talk to you guys later!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
An Update
An update for Haizy and anyone else interested: I have not heard back from the interview. It was one week ago Friday. They were supposed to make a decision one week ago today and call me either way. Still no call. I have been on the website, and the position is still listed as "open." So fingers crossed that someone has been away from the office or it is taking longer than expected to come up with a salary or something of that nature. I tried to e-mail a "thank you" post interview, but the e-mail bounced back. Evidently, I do not have the correct e-mail address for the principal. My life has been filled with other concerns, so I am trying not to obsess about this one. Thanks for asking.
Entrapment Part 3
Okay, so where was I? The first week of July 2001. One daughter had just turned 11; I will call her K11. The other was still 7; I will call her K7. haha.
***I preface this part by saying the following: that K11 has major learning problems. We were told that she would never learn to read, learn math facts, be able to drive, graduate from high school. Scroll down a few posts, and you will see that she DID graduate and is headed for community college this fall.
***S was very aware about K11's issues because I spilled my guts to her over the phone many times about how difficult it was. S felt that we had made the right decision to homeschool her because we could try many different curriculums and methods and mix them up to allow for K11's learning issues. And homeschooling was working. She was learning. BUT in math she was about three years developmentally delayed, still working on addition and subtraction and beginning multiplication facts.
***We also suspect that K11 has some Asperger's symptoms. She will usually not look you in the eye or speak unless spoken to, and then only in a mumble sometimes, especially if she doesn't know you well.
***Also, since she was 8, she suffered from migraine headaches. We had her tested, skull scans, sleep studies, bloodwork, everything. Usually they would wake her up between 6 and 8 a.m. The doctors at first thought she was having seizures, but ended up saying it was hormones. So, of course, I brought the migraine meds with me and prayed for no migraines on the trip. That can totally ruin a day of sightseeing. Believe me, K11 had missed lots of fun activities because of migraines, playdates, going to parties, the theater, etc. Her migraines usually included throwing up several times. She would need three to four hours to sleep it off and then would be kind of icky the rest of the day. This was another reason taking her out of school was essential. She had missed a lot of days because of migraines. She would usually have one every two weeks or so, but sometimes she would get two in one week.
So anyway, we get to Minneapolis, and S picked us up at the airport. S is a talker, she is loud, and she is especially excited when showing people around her city. She knows about everything. The first day went well. We went and saw S's school, had our pics taken with different Charlie Browns around the city, went to the Mall of America. I guess this is when I started to see something was awry. S was paying special attention to K7, kind of like a favorite. It was always, "Oh, K7, let me show you this! Let me take your picture, K7!" Oh, well, no big deal. It didn't seem to be bothering K11, but, then, K11 never really shows her feelings. I found out later that indeed K11 was feeling left out of all of S's attention. S took us to the Rainforest Cafe and offered to buy K7 a stuffed monkey. She bought K11 one, too, but it seemed like an afterthought. At this point, I thought I was being a little bit paranoid. Why would she intentionally leave one child out? I kept thinking I was imagining it. When it came time to pay the bill, S insisted that K11 figure out the tip. Remember, K11 was still doing addition/subtraction and a little bit of multiplication facts. Even with S's guidance (S is an elementary Montessori teacher, by the way), K was totally confused and not understanding how to figure the tip. There was an exasperated look on S's face, in her voice and body language. (I apologize here. My italics will not turn off.) Once thing you don't do as K11's teacher is look like you have lost your patience with her or that you are disappointed in her. She feels like a failure.
That night we had a picnic by the pool. S introduced me and K7 to her boyfriend and parents, but basically ignored K11. She pointed out to K7 all the souvenirs in her parents' apartment from around the world and the meaning, history behind them. In the pool she swam with K7. Of course, K7 was wallowing in all the attention and having a wonderful time. Meanwhile, I could see that K11 was starting to feel left out. I was trying to give K11 basically all of my attention to balance things out, and that night S told me that I was being overprotective of K11 and giving her too much attention.
The next morning, we were to tour St. Paul, but K11 woke up around 7 a.m. with a migraine, vomitting, etc. That's where the story takes a drastic turn.
***I preface this part by saying the following: that K11 has major learning problems. We were told that she would never learn to read, learn math facts, be able to drive, graduate from high school. Scroll down a few posts, and you will see that she DID graduate and is headed for community college this fall.
***S was very aware about K11's issues because I spilled my guts to her over the phone many times about how difficult it was. S felt that we had made the right decision to homeschool her because we could try many different curriculums and methods and mix them up to allow for K11's learning issues. And homeschooling was working. She was learning. BUT in math she was about three years developmentally delayed, still working on addition and subtraction and beginning multiplication facts.
***We also suspect that K11 has some Asperger's symptoms. She will usually not look you in the eye or speak unless spoken to, and then only in a mumble sometimes, especially if she doesn't know you well.
***Also, since she was 8, she suffered from migraine headaches. We had her tested, skull scans, sleep studies, bloodwork, everything. Usually they would wake her up between 6 and 8 a.m. The doctors at first thought she was having seizures, but ended up saying it was hormones. So, of course, I brought the migraine meds with me and prayed for no migraines on the trip. That can totally ruin a day of sightseeing. Believe me, K11 had missed lots of fun activities because of migraines, playdates, going to parties, the theater, etc. Her migraines usually included throwing up several times. She would need three to four hours to sleep it off and then would be kind of icky the rest of the day. This was another reason taking her out of school was essential. She had missed a lot of days because of migraines. She would usually have one every two weeks or so, but sometimes she would get two in one week.
So anyway, we get to Minneapolis, and S picked us up at the airport. S is a talker, she is loud, and she is especially excited when showing people around her city. She knows about everything. The first day went well. We went and saw S's school, had our pics taken with different Charlie Browns around the city, went to the Mall of America. I guess this is when I started to see something was awry. S was paying special attention to K7, kind of like a favorite. It was always, "Oh, K7, let me show you this! Let me take your picture, K7!" Oh, well, no big deal. It didn't seem to be bothering K11, but, then, K11 never really shows her feelings. I found out later that indeed K11 was feeling left out of all of S's attention. S took us to the Rainforest Cafe and offered to buy K7 a stuffed monkey. She bought K11 one, too, but it seemed like an afterthought. At this point, I thought I was being a little bit paranoid. Why would she intentionally leave one child out? I kept thinking I was imagining it. When it came time to pay the bill, S insisted that K11 figure out the tip. Remember, K11 was still doing addition/subtraction and a little bit of multiplication facts. Even with S's guidance (S is an elementary Montessori teacher, by the way), K was totally confused and not understanding how to figure the tip. There was an exasperated look on S's face, in her voice and body language. (I apologize here. My italics will not turn off.) Once thing you don't do as K11's teacher is look like you have lost your patience with her or that you are disappointed in her. She feels like a failure.
That night we had a picnic by the pool. S introduced me and K7 to her boyfriend and parents, but basically ignored K11. She pointed out to K7 all the souvenirs in her parents' apartment from around the world and the meaning, history behind them. In the pool she swam with K7. Of course, K7 was wallowing in all the attention and having a wonderful time. Meanwhile, I could see that K11 was starting to feel left out. I was trying to give K11 basically all of my attention to balance things out, and that night S told me that I was being overprotective of K11 and giving her too much attention.
The next morning, we were to tour St. Paul, but K11 woke up around 7 a.m. with a migraine, vomitting, etc. That's where the story takes a drastic turn.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Where Have I Been?
Living under a rug? I just saw a slide show of some gay celebrities that I did not know about. You might laugh but I never knew they were gay:
Will Geer - grandpa on the Waltons
Johnny Mathis - singer (My mom will be crushed)
Fannie Flagg - author Fried Green Tomatoes. I used to love watching her on Candid Camera!
Richard Deacon - actor (Dick Van Dyke, Leave it to Beaver)
Barbara Jordan - Tx Representative
Cesar Romero - joker on Batman series
Who are some celebrities that surprised you?
Will Geer - grandpa on the Waltons
Johnny Mathis - singer (My mom will be crushed)
Fannie Flagg - author Fried Green Tomatoes. I used to love watching her on Candid Camera!
Richard Deacon - actor (Dick Van Dyke, Leave it to Beaver)
Barbara Jordan - Tx Representative
Cesar Romero - joker on Batman series
Who are some celebrities that surprised you?
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