Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas Photos of My Girls















I love this girls so much. Why can't they see that? They are so beautiful. They are being so standoffish with me. Will they ever forgive me and move on? I wonder. I pray. Pray for the day when they will accept me for who I am and see that I didn't want to live a lie anymore. Would they rather I had stayed and continued my charade and possibly killed myself in the process? I know they feel that I deceived their dad when I married him and that I didn't love him at all. I loved him, but like a brother. It was never a romantic love; so, yes, I was deceitful. I was hoping my love would change with time, but it didn't. I was hoping that being married and being in a fundamental church would "cure" me, but it didn't. Now I know the truth. I didn't need a cure because there was never anything wrong with me in the first place.

3 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

I hope in time your kids will forgive you, even though they have nothing to forgive. I hope they understand one day that you couldn't continue to live a lie, as I'm sure you wouldn't want them to either.

They are beautiful girls and I'm sure one day they'll understand. :)

Diane said...

my heart breaks for you, but i know you'll never regret having always kept your heart open to your girls. time's a great teacher of compassion. like the rest of us, one day your kids will each have to make the difficult decision either to be themselves or what others want/expect...after which they'll truly understand and accept you. i hope they'll have learned by your example and handle their personal challenges with similar dignity. god bless you!

Vikki said...

That must be so hard. I hope you all find peace.