Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Hooray for Angelina Jolie!

Here is an excerpt taken from a recent Vanity Fair interview of Angelina Jolie talking about her first born biological daughter, Shiloh...

The star also confirms that she's not at all bothered by her daughter's current tomboy style, which is inspired by her hero worship of her big brothers Maddox and Pax. Shiloh dresses "like a little dude," notes Jolie. "Shiloh, we feel, has Montenegro style. It's how people dress there. She likes tracksuits, she likes (regular) suits," Angelina explains. "She likes to dress like a boy. She wants to be a boy. So we had to cut her hair. She likes to wear boys' everything. She thinks she's one of the brothers."
What a refreshing thought, let your child be who they are! You go, mama!

My Dream

Last night I dreamt that I paid my daughter's new math tutor with a check from our joint checking account. Seeing mine and J's name on the check, he sent me a note back that said, "You are living in sin." I wrote him a reply - "You, sir, are confusing love with hate."

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Potato Story

My 93-yr-old grandmother is having trouble with pain in the bottoms of her feet. A friend of hers suggested that she sleep with a potato at the bottom of the bed between the sheets. It's said to help with foot and leg pain. So a few weeks ago, Grandma started sleeping with a raw potato.

After a few days, there was no improvement in her pain, so just in case, she added a bar of soap to her bedcovers, swiped by my mother from a hotel. My mother made a special trip over to her apartment to bring it to her as this was important! I, too, began sleeping with a bar of soap tucked between my feet, as the internet did suggest it was helpful with leg cramps and restless leg syndrome, the latter of which I experience frequently. Grandma also decided to put her potato in the refrigerator during the day to make it last longer.

One night last week, my grandmother settled into her bed and noticed that the potato was not there. She got up, looked around the bed, on the floor, under the bed, and in the refrigerator. No potato AND no soap, either. Then she remembered that the housekeeper had come that day and had changed the bedsheets.

The next day she went down to the housekeeper's room, found her housekeeper, and asked her, "Have you seen my potato?" The housekeeper gave her a very strange look. "The potato was in my bed," Grandma said, "along with a bar of soap." She began explaining to the puzzled woman, who I'm sure thought Grandma had lost all of her sense, that she slept with a potato and a bar of soap at night to help her with her foot pain. "No," the woman had not seen the potato or the soap.

So back to her apartment Grandma went and looked again in the clean sheets, under and around the bed on the floor, scratching her head. No potato, and as an afterthought, no soap.

The next day there was a knock at her door. The housekeeper, laughing out loud, was standing there with the potato and soap in hand. She had found them in the wash.

You would think I would have learned from Grandma's story, but our housekeeper found my bar of soap in our bedcovers on Friday. She no doubt layed it down on the cedar chest in total confusion. The difference is, I was not there to explain why so I am sure she is stumped and telling her friends how the tenant in Apt. # blank sleeps with a bar of soap. Oh, well, at least it wasn't a potato.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

To My Baby

I Want To Make You Close Your Eyes lyrics

Girl I've been waitin on this long hard day to get over
So i can rest my head right here on your shoulder
I just wanna lay here and feel you breathe
Listen to the rhythm of your heartbeat
And see where it leads...

We're wide awake but girl I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes
And say my name like only you can say it and hold me tight
All I need is only you and me alone tonight
I wanna make you close your eyes...oh yeah...

You can make me work for it girl if you want to
Just leave a trail for me to follow you into the bedroom
And if you need a little bit of help from me
Babe there's not a button that I cant reach
Lets see where it leads

We're wide awake but girl I wanna make you close your eyes
And say my name like only you can say it and hold me tight
All I need is only you and me alone tonight
I wanna make you close your eyes

I wanna take you somewhere...out there...
'Til the world fades out of sight

We're wide awake but girl I wanna make you close your eyes
And say my name like only you can say it and hold me tight... just hold me tight
All I need is only you and me alone tonight
Yeah.. I wanna make you close your eyes...oh

I wanna make you close your eyes...oh
Girl... I wanna make you close your eyes

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Pride Float

After almost two years, I still can't figure out how to drag a damn photograph around the page. LOL I click, it highlights, and I drag, but nothing happens.
Anyway, out of order, here are the pictures of our float. There will be two brides and two grooms. Witnesses will sit on the pews. There will be angels "fluttering" around the float, throwing beads.
Wish I could see how it looked in the parade. Hopefully, someone will send me a pic so I can post it.

Friday, June 25, 2010


Guess what? The parade isn't until 8:45 P.M.!! Now what excuse am I gonna use?

Pride Weekend

Well, the Pride Parade is Saturday, and I am taking a baby step towards it. Saturday morning I am going to ATTEMPT to get up early -- okay, J, I am trying to make a commitment here -- to go to the church and help decorate our Pride float. Then I have conveniently made plans to go have lunch with my grandmother to escape from riding on the float or being a wheel watcher. They must have ten wheel watchers in order to participate. I am sure they will get them without me.

I totally understand the idea of the parade, but I do have problems with it. First, I cannot handle all the flamboyant, gay men and drag queens; it's just not my thing. And anything sexually provocative, again, not my thing. If it was just a fun, uplifting parade to make awareness of the resources for the gay community, I wouldn't have a problem participating at all. I just can't be around that. I'm not interested in looking at anyone else like that except J. These behaviors just don't represent who I am. Can't we just go straight to the float judging and skip everything else?

And I just can't see it, me, on a float in the Pride Parade, with my angel wings on, throwing beads to the spectators, my face plastered on local or national T.V. for my family and all the world to see. My mother would absolutely fall over dead from a heart attack, I just know it.

Also, while I understand being proud of who you are, J and I don't advertise our lifestyle to others. I don't like being put in a certain category of people. I am simply a person. I don't feel that I need a parade to be proud of who I love. I don't need a parade because I'm white. I don't need a parade because I have OCD. I don't need a parade because I was abused as a kid. I don't need a parade because my left foot is turned inward. Why should I need a parade because I'm gay? I just don't. A protest, yes, I can finally see myself participating in one. But a parade, I'm not there yet.

So this year, I will hopefully help decorate the float and have some pictures for you all to see tomorrow. That said, I sincerely hope that those of you participating in your festivities this weekend have a grand time. And I especially want to say to Jess and Tina "Congratulations!" I would have DEFINITELY broken out of my comfort zone to have gone to your Pride and ceremony if I could have! I wish you many happy years together!

New Blog

If you want to check out my new blog, the link is to the right. >>>>>>>>>>

I am going to try to keep the negative off of this page and get back to what it was really supposed to be about in the first place - me and J, the love of my life!

Thursday, June 24, 2010


An event at work on Monday got me thinking about safety. The mediation was almost finished, the case was being settled in favor of the plaintiff. Either my boss or his attorney said something that set him off. The plaintiff took out a large, what can be described as a hunting knife, put it up to his throat, and announced that he was going to kill himself. He also implied that he had a firearm attached to his leg.
This all took place in the back conference room, away from my sight. But, still, after it was over and done with, I was left feeling unsafe. I mean, what could have happened, the unthinkable - he could have tried to cut or shoot someone else. In fact, what's to keep him from coming back to the office some day and doing us all in? The security guards in our building do not carry weapons. We have to rely on faith that we are safe, but we may not be.
Public places, private places, does it really come down to luck, fate, what? I remember when the gunman in Killeen, Texas shot and killed people in a Luby's Cafeteria, whose only mistake was to choose one eating establishment over another. We lived in a very small town, and every time we would go into Luby's, I would sit where I could eye the front door, in case I needed to push my kids under the table. I eat there about once a month now, and still, to this day, feel a bit unsafe.
I look back on my life and cannot really ever feeling safe, ever. Even when I said I felt safe, I really didn't. I am not afraid to die, but I would like to take J with me wherever I go because with her is where I always want to be. Being tucked in her arms, close to her body, feeling her breathe in and out, hearing her heart beat is the closest thing to safety I have ever known.

I Heard It!

K19-soon-to-be-K20 is on her way to Uganda in about three hours. She will be gone two weeks. This is really scary for me.

I talked to her this morning when she was running last minute errands. Before I hung up, like I usually do, I said, "I love you, K." This time, for THE FIRST TIME since October of 2008, she answered back, "Love you." It was mumbled, I barely heard it, but I HEARD IT!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Thing About Blackberries

So the touch screen on my LG phone died just in time, right when I qualified for a Blackberry. I am still learning about it. My 16-yr-old came over yesterday and helped me with it. Verizon won't let you get "free" ringtones, so she went to, downloaded the tones on to her phone and then texted the tones to me. How cool is that?
My favorite feature of the Blackberry is that I can now access Facebook without a browser. Yep. Anytime, anywhere. I can view my Facebook account while watching T.V., eating dinner, in church, while driving, or sitting on the pot. Isn't life wonderful?
I downloaded a few games, Word Mole, Slot Machines, Texas Hold'em, Blackjack, and Suduko. I also downloaded a few apps - one that helps me keep a running grocery list by aisle. You then click on the item and it puts it in your "cart." Okay, I admit it going to look foolish pushing a cart and typing on a Blackberry, but think of the paper I'll save with no paper list, AND I run no risk of leaving a ball point pen in my back pocket like I sometimes do! If J downloads the app, she can make her own separate list as she thinks of things throughout the week, and transfer it to my list.
On another note, J and I are joining the church today. I can't wait! I'm not too keen on standing up in front of people, but it only takes about 3 minutes. The coolest thing is that they are going to send a transfer letter to the church that excommunicated me! I think they should make a special letter in my case that informs my ex-church that, contrary to their beliefs, I AM NOT GOING TO HELL and that I have taken communion almost every week for a year and a half and haven't been struck by lightning once!
I have very mixed emotions this Father's Day. I love my dad and all but am angry at him and my mom right now for the way they treat me and J. I will go with gift in hand today, but I'm sorry to say that my heart just isn't in it. I plan to spend most of the time playing with my brother's dog, talking to my girls, and, of course, playing with my Blackberry in the bathroom

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Real World

Well, I finally joined the real world and got a Blackberry. Now if I can just figure out how to keep it from waking us up at night notifying me of e-mails. It really wasn't necessary for the library to notify me at 3:00 a.m. that my book is due this Tuesday. The library employees are all in bed at that hour, no doubt. Dang computers.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Dear Blog

I haven't forgotten about you. My OCD is in full summer swing, so I am just takin' it easy today.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

I Just Have To Ask..

What the hell does the song "A Horse With No Name" mean? You see, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name. It feels good to get out of the rain. In the desert you can't remember your name, cuz there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la la la la la....

And also this one: She's got a ticket to ride. She's got a ticket to ride. She's got a ticket to ride, and she don't care.

Just askin...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Okay, I have missed two days of the challenge, so shoot me. I missed a day of the Activia challenge, as well. Guess I won't be able to get my money back.

It is pouring rain here and lightning, so I will not be able to write again today. At least I have a good excuse this time.

Until tomorrow, hopefully!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

My Daughter's Observation

When I asked her if there were any boys she was interested in, she replied, "No. All the boys I know are either too feminine, too immature, or not boyfriend material." Hmmm. Ya think some of the boys in her theater group might be gay? Wonder how she will react when they come out? Will she think they are going to hell with her mother?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


CJ over at Don't Lick the Ferrets reminded me about NaBloPoMo, National Blogging Post Month, and that you get to pick your own month! So, like her, June is going to be my month! I will try to get everyone caught up on what J and I have been doing. Tomorrow's post will probably be even shorter than today's because I have to go school K16 after work. Hope some of you will join me for the challenge during the month of June! Until manana...