Friday, January 15, 2010

Just Checking In or "What Would You Say to Your 13-Year Old Self?


Hi. Just wanted to stop and check in. We're still alive and kickin. J's knee has been giving her fits. Pre-menopause has been giving me mine. I am on some new OCD meds which I don't think are doing a darn bit of good.
As most of you know, I started the South Beach Diet around New Year's Day. I have lost 7 lbs. It's very frustrating to be so bloated awaiting your time of the month (which never seems to arrive) and try to lose weight at the same time. I am hoping once the fake period symptoms subside, the bloating and weight will magically be shed.
We started back to church. Our pastor has been in critical condition since before Christmas. I have seen my girls a couple of times since Christmas and started back with the high school homeschool classes with the younger one this week. The drive is horrible - about 2 hrs there and 1 hour back. But it is worth it just to see her.
My oldest and I are going to Florida during spring break to see my grandmother who is turning 90. Now I have a 90-yr-old grandmother and a 93-yr-old grandmother. Great genes!
No one has said anything about my wedding band yet. I am going to my grandmother's and my parents' house tomorrow. Wonder if they will say anything?
My brother and I are planning a 50th anniversary party for my parents this year. Should be fun. My car is in the shop tonight. Hope it is nothing serious.
Oh, and I am LOVING Pandora.com, Netflix, and Facebook!
I am so blessed to have J to spend the rest of my life with. Every night, I look over at her, her head resting on her pillow, me in her arms. She kisses me over and over again, and talks to me while I drift off to sleep, telling me how we met, what she used to think about me, how nervous she was, how beautiful she thought I was. I never get tired of hearing the story again and again. There is nothing better.
Someone once asked me, "If you knew then what you know now, what would you say to your 13-yr-old self?" Wow. 13 years old. I was so dorky but trying to change my image. I had braces, acne; I was so ugly. I was being sexually abused by more than one person at the time. I was afraid of my father's strictness, and I knew I was different."
I wasn't crushing over any girls or anything, but I wasn't crushing over boys, either. My OCD was in full swing, although I never said anything to anybody about it.
So what would I tell myself? Probably the following:
1. Look toward your heart.
2. God has a special person in mind for you. Don't settle.
3. It's okay to be different.
4. You don't have to go out with guys just because they ask you and everyone else is going on dates. (I started dating at 14. I was petrified to turn any boy down.)
5. You can tell your parents what is happening to you, especially your dad; he WILL BELIEVE YOU! And he will make it stop!
6. You don't have to be like everyone else.
7. God loves you no matter who you are and that is not going to change!
8. You can have children without getting married to a man.
9. Take some time off before going to college.
10. Don't ever let anyone verbally or physically abuse you as an adult.
Oh, I could go on and on. What would you tell your 13-yr-old self?

3 comments:

Diane said...

i think i'd tell myself alot of the same things you told yourself. i would also say (paraphrasing someone else) "remember to have three things: an open heart, a thick skin, and a short memory!"

RiverPoet said...

I would say, "Please take your time and be absolutely certain about a person before you move in with him or her!" I would also say, "Don't be afraid to be alone. You're good enough company!"

I long for what you and J have. I thought I had it, and then it was ripped out from under me. No one deserves to be abused (at 13 or at any other age).

Good luck on the weight loss. I hope you never have to go on the diet I'm on - the I'm-too-sick-to-eat-because-I'm-sad diet. A couple of years ago I lost 60 lbs between the Medifast program and exercise. I've kept it off except for about 10 lbs, and I vary between a 5 lb range. A lot of my FB friends are people I met online in the Medifast support system.

As for menopause, that's been overwith for me since my operation in 2003. I don't miss the Aunt at all!

Peace - D

This Mom said...

I would absolutely tell her to be more confident. Have fun and DO EVERYTHING! Play a sport, go to the football games, act silly...Don't be afraid of failure, just do it.