Well, the Pride Parade is Saturday, and I am taking a baby step towards it. Saturday morning I am going to ATTEMPT to get up early -- okay, J, I am trying to make a commitment here -- to go to the church and help decorate our Pride float. Then I have conveniently made plans to go have lunch with my grandmother to escape from riding on the float or being a wheel watcher. They must have ten wheel watchers in order to participate. I am sure they will get them without me.
I totally understand the idea of the parade, but I do have problems with it. First, I cannot handle all the flamboyant, gay men and drag queens; it's just not my thing. And anything sexually provocative, again, not my thing. If it was just a fun, uplifting parade to make awareness of the resources for the gay community, I wouldn't have a problem participating at all. I just can't be around that. I'm not interested in looking at anyone else like that except J. These behaviors just don't represent who I am. Can't we just go straight to the float judging and skip everything else?
And I just can't see it, me, on a float in the Pride Parade, with my angel wings on, throwing beads to the spectators, my face plastered on local or national T.V. for my family and all the world to see. My mother would absolutely fall over dead from a heart attack, I just know it.
Also, while I understand being proud of who you are, J and I don't advertise our lifestyle to others. I don't like being put in a certain category of people. I am simply a person. I don't feel that I need a parade to be proud of who I love. I don't need a parade because I'm white. I don't need a parade because I have OCD. I don't need a parade because I was abused as a kid. I don't need a parade because my left foot is turned inward. Why should I need a parade because I'm gay? I just don't. A protest, yes, I can finally see myself participating in one. But a parade, I'm not there yet.
So this year, I will hopefully help decorate the float and have some pictures for you all to see tomorrow. That said, I sincerely hope that those of you participating in your festivities this weekend have a grand time. And I especially want to say to Jess and Tina "Congratulations!" I would have DEFINITELY broken out of my comfort zone to have gone to your Pride and ceremony if I could have! I wish you many happy years together!