This has been a bummer two days. J and I are both feeling rejection from our families right now. While it is true that our immediate families have not kicked us out of their lives, sometimes it feels like they might as well. Well, at least it does to me.
I mean, I came out in order to stop the lying. I know the initial shock was very upsetting, but it has been a year and a half, people. I seriously think that they would rather I have continued living a lie and pretend that I was happy for the sake of keeping a family together. I know my daughters were hurt that I left them and their dad. I. get. it. I really do. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I don't expect my girls to accept J as a friend or a co-parent or a part of their family. But the time has come for them to actually meet her face-to-face, if only just once. J did not break up our family; I did. I don't know how much more of this I can take, I really don't. Feeling like J and I should just go back into hiding like we did in college.
6 comments:
Hi, I came over from Tyfanny's blog. I'm sorry to hear things are rough with your families. Sometimes it's really hard for people to let go of their vision of the way your life should be.
After living so much of your life in denial, you owe it to yourself to live your truth. Is it possible that your family will never come around? I suppose it is. But you have to live your life for you because at the end of the day you are responsible for your own happiness. Waiting for your family's approval prohibits you from living your life fully and that puts a black cloud over your relationship with J when you should always have sunshine and rainbows around your love.
I am really sorry. Our families can be so hurtful. My Mom hurt me often. And I try not to think about it, cause she has come so far.
I am sure it is hard on your kids. And one day, I am sure they will understand. And they will be glad that you quit living a lie. And they will quit blaming J. Be strong. And don't go back into 'hiding'. It will just make people think they are right when they think you are doing something wrong.
This is hard. I had to go through the rejection at 19. But it will pass - they just need time to adjust to your new life.
Don't go back into the closet - coming out to your family was the best thing you could have done for yourself! Just keep the communication open between you and your daughters and one day it will get better.
Good luck to you.
No, don't go back in hiding. I know how you feel sometimes. My parents are gone, and my siblings accept me, so I'm lucky. But it's a different story for my dear other half. She catches a lot of misery and can really understand what you're going through.
All I can say is that the truth has set you free. It may not feel like it right now, but YOU are living YOUR life, not theirs.
D & D
That is such a hard thing to do, and you were courageous in coming out. You have the right to be happy. Your family love you, and I think maybe they feel like suddenly (as of a year and half ago) they don't know who you are. They don't realize yet that you're the same you've always been... just happier! Hang in there.
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