I am supposed to meet a friend in the very near future to "come out." But the thing is I don't want to tell her I'm "gay." I have always hated those words, "Gay, lesbian, homosexual," etc. I don't feel gay, whatever that is. I don't want that label. I have never felt "gay." All I know is that I am the woman who has always been in love with J, and that is who I was born to be.