Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Our Day

BOTH girls -- read it -- BOTH GIRLS came over to our apartment today! We started out by them going in the bathroom and changing. I could tell that K19 was a bit nervous. I said, "What do you think of our apartment?" She replied, "It's small."

We went swimming. For once, it was not 103 degrees outside, cloudy and threats of rain. After about an hour, the girls started getting hungry, so we went back to the apartment to change. I don't know if K19 went in the bedroom or not. J says that I obsess about my kids going into the bedroom.

I ordered a fancy pizza because that's the cool thing to do. We watched "Riding the Bus With My Sister" which we had taped from the Hallmark Channel and ate the pizza. Then K15 and I got down to business to do Spanish and Science work for two hours while K19 watched TV and read. I kind of hinted that 5:00 would be a good time to call it a day; they had been here since 11:00. So, all in all, a great day. I did not sit on the couch with them like I had planned to do, but they both seemed relaxed and content. I did catch K19 poking around the kitchen at one point. I think she is just kind of curious.

Soon, I will have to start putting mine and J's photo on the frig. I refuse to put it in a drawer every time the girls come by. It has to come out sometime. I figure that by Christmas, I will be wearing my wedding band full time.


Last night I took K19 out for her birthday dinner. We went to the Cheesecake Factory and to Barnes and Noble afterwards. I bought her the Marlee Matlin autobiography she has been wanting to read. Had a wonderful time with her. She is so precious.

Anyway, the shocker is this: she is coming over to our apartment tomorrow with her sister! That is something I thought I would never see! She is driving her over here. I am going to do science and Spanish with K15, and then we are going swimming. May even have time to sit on the couch together and watch a movie!!!!

I will let you know how it goes.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Entrapment Part 4

I will try to make this part short, as I know this story is dragging on. K11 woke up the next day with a migraine. Of course, S had made many plans during the day: St. Paul - Children's Museum and other things. She seemed actually quite peeved about K11's headache, like the migraine was planned or something. By now, K7 had made her new best friend, S, so the two of them went to the Children's Museum together while I stayed with K11. She did her usually vomitting bit and then slept for about four hours. By then, she was feeling well enough to go somewhere, not perfect, but she did not want to miss out. So I called S to come and get us.

That day was the turning point in S's behaviour. She treated K7 like a princess and K11 like snot. And this is a teacher I'm talking about. Never in the year I had taught with her had I ever heard her talk to a child this way, even the ones who misbehaved. Actually, she had always had a way with the misbehaved kids or the slow learners; in our class those were the kids she gave most of the attention to. K11 still was not feeling up to par, and S kept insisting that she figure out the tip at dinner. K11 started crying, looking at me for support. I politely asked S to "cool it", reinforcing the fact that K11 was recuperating from a migraine, and had not gotten to decimals or percents yet in math. Why was it so important to S that K11 figure out the tip? Did every meal have to be a math lesson? K11 was on vacation for crying out loud. These were the things I was saying to myself in my head. And, yes, I was giving K11 special attention because S was paying NO ATTENTION to her whatsoever and making her feel like shit. I do remember calling my ex several times telling him about S's behaviour, and he kept telling me to be K11's buddy since obviously K7 had a new buddy.

That night, K7 was bringing in a shirt or something on a hanger from the laundry room, and she motioned to K11 to take it from her. K11 obviously didn't notice her and did not turn around to take the shirt, walking into the apt empty-handed. Now, remember I said we have suspected that she has some Asperger symptoms? This has always been an issue with K11. She could see me standing in front of the door with a pile of groceries in my hand, my purse, balancing a drink, and she would never offer to take something from me. She has never seemed to pick up on that visual cue. But if I say, "Hey, these things are heavy," or "I can't manage to get the key in the hole," she would immediately volunteer to take something out of my hand.

Well, anyway, when K11 did not take the shirt, S went ballistic, I mean ballistic! I told the girls to wait in the apt while I followed S back downstairs to the laundry room, and that is where we had our first screaming match. I have never actually yelled or screamed at anyone in my whole life, not even my ex-husband. She screamed at me; I screamed back at her. She was making accusations that I was "coddling" K11, that she really did not have a headache that morning, that she probably forced herself to vomit, that she really does not have learning issues, she is just trying to manipulate me and her teachers in the past and get attention, that she could figure out the tip if she wanted to, that K11 was making K7 do all the work (ahem, it was one shirt on a hanger.) S was screaming at me, drowning out the sounds of the washers and dryers; I kept screaming back at her, that she didn't even try to understand K11's personality or learning issues, that she had been constantly favoring K7 over K11 since we arrived in Minnesota, making K11 feel terrible. People kept coming in and out of the laundry room, listening to two middle-aged crazy women yelling at one another over something soooo stupid. I was crying hysterically; that's what I do when I get angry or frustrated. I didn't know what to do. I had two unhappy kids upstairs (K7 had been crying by now because she felt guilty for getting all of S's attention), no money in the bank to go to a hotel, and we were supposed to leave on our Laura Wilder adventure in the morning.

So after S and I calmed down, we decided that, like a divorcing couple, we would put our differences aside for a couple of days for the kids' sakes and go on the trip. Afterall, that part of the trip was the main reason we had come, to reward them for all their hard work they had done for the school year. They had both looked forward to this trip for so long. Imagine, following the same route that Laura Wilder had traveled!

S made it clear to me that she did not like K11 and would not change her mind about her. I had never, ever heard her tell me that she did not "like" a child! I was deeply hurt. She was saying something about my child I had never heard before. I had always heard the exact opposite from people: how aggreable K11 always was, how she was so polite, had a beautiful smile, how quiet she was but always a friend to everyone, how she tried hard to please.

I really did not have a choice. We had to go on this road trip. We were both adults; we could put this behind us, couldn't we, to make two kids' wishes come true? So we left for Pepin, Wisconsin in the morning.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Happy Belated Father's Day

I wanted to send this to my dad soooo badly!

It's Hell

It's hell to see your parents and grandparents get old. This is one of my grandmas. She is 93. This is her with Melanie Lawson of Channel 13 where my brother works. My youngest called awhile ago kind of upset. She and my oldest were visiting "Mimi", my grandmother, and my grandmother was appearing "confused." She kept referring to my parents as my kids' parents and wouldn't back down when they tried to correct her. I hate this part of life.
About ten years ago, my ex's father was dying. We packed the girls into a tiny Toyota Tercel and drove straight through to Tulsa to be with him. My ex's family was very critical of us. The girls were 4 and 7 at the time. We took them both in to see their grandfather on his deathbed. No other young children in the family were brought in. Again, the whole family thought that we were nuts.
Their grandfather told them that he was, in fact, going to die soon and go to heaven, that he would never forget about them, would always remember them, that he was not afraid to die, and that, above all, he loved them. Now, 15 and 19, they still remember that moment and still cling to the character pillows he sent them for Christmas the year before. The father-in-law asked us to go back home after four days of vigil. We no sooner reached home, he was gone.
Drove back to Tulsa in the same Toyota a few days later for the wake. The girls, even so young, still remember the wake and still talk about it as if it was yesterday. The wake made a bigger impression on them than the funeral.
Other than their grandfather, they have not been exposed to much death, except for my grandmother's boyfriend; that was pretty traumatic. BUT they have been to several funeral home visits and funerals. They do not seem to be afraid of death. They have even heard of my near death experience.
Parting with "Mimi" will be hard because she is probably the first in the line of many deaths to come, but I am glad for them because I was not exposed much to death until I was 19 or 20, and it made it so much more difficult, I think. Well, K19 is 19, so I guess she is just like me.
When I was 3 weeks old, my dad had an accident. A pipe hit him right in the eyeball. My "Mimi" took care of me while he was in the hospital. She always told me that because she took care of me so young, that I would take care of her when she was dying. So I hope that I will be there for her when she does leave this world. She is afraid of death, unlike my other grandmother. I am not sure she believes in heaven. She goes to church, but she seems to fear death so much.
Anyway, not that she is DYING or anything. I just needed to get this stuff out. Thanks for listening, peeps.


Well, just to let you all know that I did not get the job. They decided not to fill the position after all. I am now hearing info that that principal has a reputation of being difficult to work with, so maybe I dodged a bullet??

Tana had her first bath today, and she did very well. She is now hiding under the bed again, her favorite place. She has really taken to J now. J plays rough with her, and, surprisingly, she likes it.

Her vet appointment went VERY well. She is in perfect health and weighing in at 6.8 lbs. There is one more vaccine that she needs. Will get that soon. She is eating her new food, thank God! No more smelly, smelly Mighty Dog. Will update you with a photo if I can ever get her out from under the bed!

Am bored to tears. May start working on next school year's organizational stuff since it looks like I will be there again. All the Michael Jackson/Farrah Fawcett stuff is depressing, and I am stir crazy. All I can say is that I am so glad that J and I married right away. I would hate to be in Ryan O'Neal's position. He wanted to marry her so badly. As far as Farrah was concerned, I never thought I would fight if I had cancer, but after hearing her struggle, I would probably do it. A lot of people learned from her over the past 2 years. I would rather be remembered as a fighter, not a quitter.

As far as Michael Jackson is concerned, yes, I liked his music and dancing, especially his earlier stuff. I do think he was one of a kind. But I think he was a troubled soul, and I pray that he has finally made peace with himself and with God. I think it stinks that there was no intervention from others earlier in his life. Maybe there was and we just didn't know it. I feel sorry for his kids. But I have to be honest here, if I here "Thriller" one more time, I'm gonna hurl. Uh, there it is again. Pardon me while I head for the toilet.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I want to say "congratulations" to G and C on the birth of their second son, L, last Thursday. Their boys' birthdays are one day apart! He is such a handsome boy! I would love to be called "aunt b" since it is quite obvious that my brother is never going to get around to having kids. Congratulations to M, the new grandma!

Took Tana to the vet today; she is in perfect health. I am thinking about giving her away. Okay, you are probably wondering why. I guess I just have not bonded with her yet, although she has definitely bonded with me. I also feel guilty that she will have to be in a cage during the day once I go back to work. Putting her in the bathroom with the doggie gate did not work. She woke us up twice this week between 3 and 4 a.m. pooping on the carpet, but she has never done that before, so I am hoping it is a fluke thing. She has been eating crap. The vet today told me what kind of food would be better for her. V has a friend who might have a doggie door. I don't know. I am torn. I didn't think J liked her much at first, but she seems to be warming up to her. J calls Tana "Muttley."

I called the school today and left a message for the principal who interviewed me regarding the status of my interview. Her secretary said that she was at a meeting off campus but would be returning in the afternoon. No call. Bummer.

I have started homeschooling the youngest one again. She is starting science and Spanish now, so that she will be done with those classes in March and can concentrate on her theater arts in the spring. She really wants to be a part of the Cinderella production. Rehearsals are brutal for two to three weeks and can really put you behind in your schoolwork. Anyway, I am proud of her for thinking ahead.

J has a four-day work week next week, so I am hoping that we can go do something fun like go to a movie, or to the track, or maybe go see her grandparents' homes.

Talk to you guys later!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

An Update

An update for Haizy and anyone else interested: I have not heard back from the interview. It was one week ago Friday. They were supposed to make a decision one week ago today and call me either way. Still no call. I have been on the website, and the position is still listed as "open." So fingers crossed that someone has been away from the office or it is taking longer than expected to come up with a salary or something of that nature. I tried to e-mail a "thank you" post interview, but the e-mail bounced back. Evidently, I do not have the correct e-mail address for the principal. My life has been filled with other concerns, so I am trying not to obsess about this one. Thanks for asking.

Entrapment Part 3

Okay, so where was I? The first week of July 2001. One daughter had just turned 11; I will call her K11. The other was still 7; I will call her K7. haha.

***I preface this part by saying the following: that K11 has major learning problems. We were told that she would never learn to read, learn math facts, be able to drive, graduate from high school. Scroll down a few posts, and you will see that she DID graduate and is headed for community college this fall.

***S was very aware about K11's issues because I spilled my guts to her over the phone many times about how difficult it was. S felt that we had made the right decision to homeschool her because we could try many different curriculums and methods and mix them up to allow for K11's learning issues. And homeschooling was working. She was learning. BUT in math she was about three years developmentally delayed, still working on addition and subtraction and beginning multiplication facts.

***We also suspect that K11 has some Asperger's symptoms. She will usually not look you in the eye or speak unless spoken to, and then only in a mumble sometimes, especially if she doesn't know you well.

***Also, since she was 8, she suffered from migraine headaches. We had her tested, skull scans, sleep studies, bloodwork, everything. Usually they would wake her up between 6 and 8 a.m. The doctors at first thought she was having seizures, but ended up saying it was hormones. So, of course, I brought the migraine meds with me and prayed for no migraines on the trip. That can totally ruin a day of sightseeing. Believe me, K11 had missed lots of fun activities because of migraines, playdates, going to parties, the theater, etc. Her migraines usually included throwing up several times. She would need three to four hours to sleep it off and then would be kind of icky the rest of the day. This was another reason taking her out of school was essential. She had missed a lot of days because of migraines. She would usually have one every two weeks or so, but sometimes she would get two in one week.

So anyway, we get to Minneapolis, and S picked us up at the airport. S is a talker, she is loud, and she is especially excited when showing people around her city. She knows about everything. The first day went well. We went and saw S's school, had our pics taken with different Charlie Browns around the city, went to the Mall of America. I guess this is when I started to see something was awry. S was paying special attention to K7, kind of like a favorite. It was always, "Oh, K7, let me show you this! Let me take your picture, K7!" Oh, well, no big deal. It didn't seem to be bothering K11, but, then, K11 never really shows her feelings. I found out later that indeed K11 was feeling left out of all of S's attention. S took us to the Rainforest Cafe and offered to buy K7 a stuffed monkey. She bought K11 one, too, but it seemed like an afterthought. At this point, I thought I was being a little bit paranoid. Why would she intentionally leave one child out? I kept thinking I was imagining it. When it came time to pay the bill, S insisted that K11 figure out the tip. Remember, K11 was still doing addition/subtraction and a little bit of multiplication facts. Even with S's guidance (S is an elementary Montessori teacher, by the way), K was totally confused and not understanding how to figure the tip. There was an exasperated look on S's face, in her voice and body language. (I apologize here. My italics will not turn off.) Once thing you don't do as K11's teacher is look like you have lost your patience with her or that you are disappointed in her. She feels like a failure.

That night we had a picnic by the pool. S introduced me and K7 to her boyfriend and parents, but basically ignored K11. She pointed out to K7 all the souvenirs in her parents' apartment from around the world and the meaning, history behind them. In the pool she swam with K7. Of course, K7 was wallowing in all the attention and having a wonderful time. Meanwhile, I could see that K11 was starting to feel left out. I was trying to give K11 basically all of my attention to balance things out, and that night S told me that I was being overprotective of K11 and giving her too much attention.

The next morning, we were to tour St. Paul, but K11 woke up around 7 a.m. with a migraine, vomitting, etc. That's where the story takes a drastic turn.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Where Have I Been?

Living under a rug? I just saw a slide show of some gay celebrities that I did not know about. You might laugh but I never knew they were gay:

Will Geer - grandpa on the Waltons
Johnny Mathis - singer (My mom will be crushed)
Fannie Flagg - author Fried Green Tomatoes. I used to love watching her on Candid Camera!
Richard Deacon - actor (Dick Van Dyke, Leave it to Beaver)
Barbara Jordan - Tx Representative
Cesar Romero - joker on Batman series

Who are some celebrities that surprised you?

Thanks, Tina!

I can FINALLY get back on Tina's site since she changed the format! Woohoo! Here are the answers to her meme:

What are your current obsessions?
The Caylee Anthony case, Sonic Diet Cokes with regular cherry syrup, whether or not I got the job

Which item from your wardrobe do you wear the most often?
Jeans and my SWT Alumni T-Shirt

What’s for dinner?
Spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread

What is your greatest fear at the moment?
J and I being separated by death

What are you listening to?
The jingle of Tana’s doggie tags. She wants to play the game “Chase Me Under the Bed.”

What are your favorite holiday spots?
Movie theaters, beaches, the couch

What are you reading right now?
The Tribute by Nora Roberts, pretty boring

What is your guilty pleasure?
Chocolate cake, cheesecake, Three Muskateers bar, theater popcorn with lots of butter

Who or what makes you laugh?
J and my youngest daughter.

What is your favorite Spring thing to do?
Open the windows

Where are you planning to travel next?
Hoping San Antonio, Kemah, or Louisiana.

What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?
A pizza from our newest pizza delivery place. It is simply perfect for nights when we don’t want to cook.

When was the last time you were tipsy?
Last week at Pappasito’s. Don’t remember when that was. Hmmm, guess I was tipsy.

What is your favorite ever film?
Too many to list, but I really love Apollo 13 (I know it word for word) and, of course, The Blue Lagoon

What is the biggest life lesson you’ve learned from your kids?
That there is a whole lot more going on in their minds than we give them credit for.

What book do you know you should read but refuse to?
Probably a sex manual. Ha ha!

What is your physical abnormity/abnormal physical ability?
Man, where do I start? Overweight would be the first. I have moles, which I hate, but if I took them off they would leave scars, which I would also hate. Oh, also, a C-section scar.

What is your favorite color?

Can the people outside your car hear the music playing inside your car?
They could last week. It depends on what I’m playing.

In a perfect world, how many hours sleep would you get per night?
I had a sleep study done once, and it showed that I need more than 8 hrs. a night because I don’t get a good REM cycle (look that up). I feel best with 10.

Not continuing with the entrapment story at the moment because I am a nervous wreck waiting for the dumb phone to ring!

Monday, June 15, 2009

The "Kidnapping" (Entrapment) Part 2

Please read part 1 below first if you haven't already.

Before I go on with the story, I would to make it quite clear that this was not an actual kidnapping with knives or guns or anything. I really don't know what to call it. Entrapment? Anyway, I was in fear my safety and, above all, the safety of my children, and had no way to get out for several days. It left my children traumatized, angry, and scared.

Okay. So fast forward quite a few years to the year 2001. I had been homeschooling my daughters, ages 10 and 7. We had been reading the Little House on the Prairie books, and they were REALLY getting into them. S and I were still talking on the phone from Minnesota to Texas. She knew that we were really in a money crunch, having started our own business two years before and trying to get it moving along. We had to watch every penny. Vacation time was set aside only to visit relatives, not for pleasure trips. S was single, made great money, lived very simply and saved her money for something special. She was a "big sister" in the Big Brothers/Sisters Program in Minneapolis, and took kids camping, to museums, whatever. She loved to educate kids, and she loved playing tour guide to visitors. She had begged me to come see her for years. She still had the controlling personality, of course, and my ex had not taken to her at all. She came to visit us once before when she was in Houston, and she basically took over the conversation at dinner; he didn't like that at all. But I somehow found her very interesting, super intelligent. I mean, there seemed to be nothing she didn't know about, politics, history, science, literature. She would have been a great Jeopardy contestant. She thought very highly of me as a teacher, mentor, and mother. She was extremely proud of what I was accomplishing with the older daughter who had learning difficulties.

So anyway, around February of 2001, S suggested that I bring the girls up to Minnesota for a visit. All I had to do was supply the three plane tickets; she would pay for everything else. She said we could take the girls on the Little House tour, from Wisconsin, thru Minnesota, to South Dakota, and back, skipping Missouri because of lack of time. How could I resist such an educational experience for my girls? And basically all expenses paid? This was not something that their dad and I would be able to provide them at this time in their lives. So I told the girls that if we worked hard and finished all the Little House books, we would go and see Laura Ingalls Wilder's homes, plus get to see the Mall of America and whatever else our tour guide had in store for us. My mother made them prairie dresses and bonnets to wear to the Ingalls Homestead and Laura Ingalls Wilder Pageant. It was their first plane ride in their memories, and they each planned to bring their expensive American Girl dolls with them.

S had the itinerary down to a T. And that's what I wanted. I had never been to any of those places, so I was glad that she had everything planned out. July is when all the Laura I. Wilder celebrations, parades, and pageants take place. The girls and I would fly in to Minneapolis in early July and stay a couple of days in her apartment, seeing the sights there and in St. Paul, visit S's school, and then leave on a three to four day Little House tour. Story to be continued.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The "Kidnapping" (Entrapment)

Tonight I will start to tell my story of the "kidnapping." I don't know what else to call it. Let me preface the story by saying this: If -- and that is a big IF I get this job, there is a possibility that the so called "kidnapper" will come to Houston from Minnesota for a conference and tour the school that I would be working at. I have not seen or spoken to her since 2001. When I first reported this story, I was a regular on two message boards, homeschooling message boards. The ladies there were very supportive, but also in shock because the story was SO outlandish that it was hard to believe. So I will just briefly give you background into the situation.

In 1991, I was serving as lead teacher in a prominent Montessori school in Texas. An intern from Minnesota came to learn and serve as my assistant/co-teacher. I say "assistant" because she had not passed her certification. At the end of one year, she was to return to Minnesota as a certified lead Montessori elementary teacher. I was specifically re-hired by this school to serve as her lead teacher and to model for her how an elementary Montessori environment was run. Needless to say, from the very first day we did not hit it off. She was a very controlling person.

On the first day of school, every year, I play a game with the kids called the "name game." It is a challenging game, but lots of fun, in a circle, and I have found that it is the fastest way for a group of 30 plus kids to learn each other's names quickly. After playing the game, "S" as I will call her, reported me to the director to the school because she said that the game was not "Montessori." My director basically laughed in her face at this strange accusation.

First of all, what is considered "Montessori"? It was not an apparatus, it was not a philosophy, it was a GAME. So we basically disliked each other from the start. BUT there were many positive things about her. She had been on many travels all over the world, serving in the Peace Corps, even working for Mother Theresa. She was an EXTREMELY intelligent person. She had so much information to share with the kids. There seemed to be nothing she hadn't experienced. She had even been arrested and put in jail for protesting against something I can't even remember. She had a brusk way of speaking to the students, but they respected her a lot more than me. Her expectations for them were much higher; she was a hard worker. She stood up for me many times against other teachers when I was in the right.

What ended up happening was this: she and I figured out that we truly liked each other, liked hanging out at her place drinking wine coolers, that we were better together as friends, not as co-workers, so when she moved back to Minnesota when her year was up, I was truly sad to see her go, not as a co-worker, but as a friend. She took back with her the recipe for "Frito Pies" to share with her students, memories of Hurricane Hugo, and our class even had a largest cockroach contest to send back to her in Minnesota for her students to experience. We would talk for hours from Texas to Minnesota, and as long as we did not talk about work, Montessori, students, etc., we got along fine. Fast forward a few years later, and the story will continue.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Here is Tana, pronounced "Tanna", waiting on J's side of the bed for J to get home last night. Tana is from Lantana because that is the name of the first place J and I lived together (a dorm).
So far the dog is doing okay, but she hasn't pooped yet. I have walked and walked her, but she still won't. I am sure she will do it in the apartment sometime today when I am not looking. She hasn't really eaten and drank much, though, probably from nerves.
She has figured out that she can hide under the bed and that it is very difficult for us to get her out. I usually have to roll her on her side and slide her out that way. Didn't want to lie on the floor in my business suit this morning, so I put her in her crate before I got dressed.
I love the way she squats but still lifts her right hind leg when she tinkles. Maybe she is transgender? Now if I could only get her to avoid cracks and horizontal lines when walking like Jack Nicholson't dog did in As Good As It Gets we would be perfectly simpatico.
She is very stubborn and absolutely will not respond to the phrase "Come here." So you have to pretend that you don't want her near you, and then she comes. She doesn't like you to leave her in a room alone. Sometimes I sit at the computer and pretend I am typing, and she will come right up to me. Her foster mom told me she always sat in her lap while she was at the computer. Nice trick!
Last night, J and I were laying in bed. Apartment was pitch dark and the dog had no idea where she was supposed to be. I had put her dog bed with my t-shirt in it next to my side of the bed. You could hear her little tags jingling through the house. We heard some bumps upstairs,which is not unusual, and then a whining wooooooo sound. J said it was a dog. I said, "Well, it wasn't our dog." We heard it again. To me, it sounded like someone was in pain upstairs. But then came the third time we heard it - woooooooo - coming from our living room. J and I said together, "Yep, that's our dog!" I put her in her bed and hung my arm over the side, stroking her to sleep. She slept there the rest of the night.
Interview went really well today, I thought. Should hear something one way or the other after Monday they said. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. This would be a MAJOR step up in my career.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Chaz Bono

Cher is about to get a new son.
Chastity Bono, the celebrity offspring of the singer and late husband Sonny Bono, is changing gender from female to male, her publicist told the Daily News on Thursday.
The 40-year-old, known to family and friends as Chaz, came out as a lesbian nearly two decades ago. Bono intends to make the transition from woman to man, publicist Howard Bragman said.
"Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity," Bragman said.
"He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by loved ones.
"It is Chaz's hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his coming out did nearly 20 years ago."
Bragman declined to answer any further questions about the sex change.
Transitioning typically involves hormone therapy, and sometimes - although not always - includes surgery.

Here She Is!

Picked her up today. She is extremely timid and unsure of things right now; hiding a lot. But she will come sit by me or on my lap once in a while. J hasn't seen her yet. I figure J will either throw the dog out, me out, or both of us out. FYI her chest isn't pink. I don't know why it came out that way. By the way, which breed of dog is considered a lesbian's dog?

Craigslist Ad of the Month

While perusing craigslist for chihuahua info, I found his ad for a rose haired tarantula.

am have a rose haired tarantula named chucky .ive had him for about a year so hes about 2 and ahalf... hes not to big yet he is still young.. hes a good spider hes also spoiled lol i give him about 12 larger crickets every 2 weeks. he comes with a 10 gallon tank and a water dish. he is tamed but gets scared.. i ve never been bit from him. the reason why im getting rid is he looks misable and he need someone that spends time with him. .. he already has about 7 crickets in there. like i said comes with tank and water dish im selling for 30 which comes with tank water dish and whatever food left he has.
Umm, I didn't know a spider could look "miserable."

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Wow! You bloggers have been busy, and I've only read the ones I'm following! Went to housesit for V this morning while she was getting her a/c fixed. Fell asleep on her couch. The workers could have stolen her blind, and I would never have known it. Then I drove into H town and picked up J for lunch! We went to a cute Chinese restaurant, but the food didn't sit well for either one of us. We are pondering taking in a 2-yr-old chihuahua. I hadn't realized how much I miss my Dusti and being mommy to someone. Anyway, the woman said she has 3 or 4 interested parties, so if she's still available Saturday, we will go look at her. The lady who has her hasn't really worked with her too well on the housebreaking, which has me worried. If I go back to work soon, I won't have much time to housebreak her.

By the way, I have an interview on Friday morning! Please send prayers and good thoughts my way around 10:15 a.m. central time. I would really appreciate it.

**To Maria: Yes, regarding Barry White - either you love him or you hate him, and I personally cannot listen to him all the time.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Monday Meme

Got this one from L.L. Cool Joe. Thanks!

1. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Pappasito’s for several reasons: 1. It was where we went on our first date back last year. 2. The Wave Margarita 3. J usually has a gift card so she doesn’t have to spend any money
Also, Fratelli’s. VERY romantic. GREAT memories.

2. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?

3. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Two babies

4. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A 20-lb bag of cat litter, and I don’t even own a cat.

5. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

6. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
The day of, yes. Before that, no.

7. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
My last name to J’s last name. Still pondering when that will legally take place.

8. What’s your goal for the year?
To find a new job and to heal emotionally and finally connect with my daughters, for real.

9. Last person you hugged?

10. First place you went this morning?
To Sonic, of course!

11. Do you always answer your phone?

12. It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Must be a wrong number. Although, I did send J a text from Florida at 4:00 a.m. her time.

13. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Light violet

14. What’s on your wish list for your birthday?
Something sexy

15. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Both. Excited for what the future holds for me and J. Nervous because of the unknown.

16. Do you have any saved texts?

17. Ever been in a car wreck?
Too many to remember

18. Do you have an accent?
Yes, I get teased by J for my country bumpkin accent.

19. What was the last song to make you cry?
The Way of Love sung by Cher and Hallelujah sung by k.d. lang at the Juno awards. Those songs get me every time.

20. What did you do last night?
Cuddled with J until I fell fast asleep in her arms.

21. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yeah, the nights I tried to take my life. There is absolutely no reason why I should have survived the second time.

22. Current hate right now?
I hate no one, but I really do hate my OCD.

23. Met someone who changed your life?
I have met a lot of people who have changed my life. Most are not around anymore. But the most important one is – J!!!!

24. How did you bring in the New Year?
J and I drank pink champagne and watched T.V. and cuddled. With J I have found that I am DEFINITELY a cuddler. Lol

25. What song represents you?
Well, right now it is Barry White’s I’ve Got So Much to Give (see below post).

Dedicated to J

Don’t do that
Baby, please don’t do that
What are you cryin’ for
Is it because you’re sad or mad or
Nothing’s gonna go wrong
Sometimes we feel inside of us that
That everything we have is only here for today
But every now and then two people get lucky
And find that certain thing that make them wanna
Just keep it, just keep it that way
I don’t want you to feel that
That you have to go through these changes when
Knowin’ no way
I know that our love is different
Our lives will be different
Trust me, baby, trust me

Now that I’m here no more tears
Come here, come here
And you won’t find things that broke your heart
And blew your mind
Not here, no, not here

And my, oh, my
Girl, can’t you see, can’t you see that I
I’ve got so much to give to you, my dear
It’s gonna take a lifetime, it’s gonna take years

To you my dear I’ve got so much to give
It’s gonna take my lifetime
It’s gonna take years and years and years and years

And I’ll fill you in your hopes and dreams
Believe me, girl, you got everything
Right here, right here
No one could offer you more
Than the love I have for you in store
It’s here, oh, oh, yeah

And my, oh, my
Honey, can’t you see, can’t you see that I
I got so much to give to you my dear
It’s gonna take a lifetime, it’s gonna take years

To you my dear I’ve got so much to give
It’s gonna take my lifetime
It’s gonna take years and years and years and years

Believe me, baby
We found that certain thing
That certain feeling
That lets two people express themselves how they feel
Let your love flow inside of you
Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid, baby

Florida Trip followed by Major Romance

Well not too much exciting to report. I didn't come out to my grandmother after all. She started talking about "queers" in a condescending way, and that's when I decided not to spoil the visit. We never discussed why I left the marriage or anything. There really wasn't anything to talk about. I had a boring time; it rained every day, but I did get my 2-mile walks in in the mornings. But was great to be with her in her home again. Probably will be my last time, I suppose. The "goodbye" was nothing special. I just hugged her and said, "Goodbye, Grandma." There was no "I love you" or "Have a good trip" or anything. I don't know, I sort of feel that our time together this week spoiled the relationship in some way. She told me that I looked bored (which I was) and that it wasn't the same without the girls there. I didn't even call to tell her I made it home.

The best part of going away was the homecoming! When I got to the airport I had to walk from Terminal E to Terminal C to meet J. Wow, what a long walk when you are trying to get to your sweetheart! I couldn't wait to see her! There she was sitting there in her bright yellow shirt that she knows I love to see her in! After embracing, she immediately handed me my wedding ring. When we got in the car, her CD player started playing our song, "You're My Everything." When we got home, J said for me to take my suitcase to the bedroom. How unbutch of her! When I got to the bedroom, there were a dozen red roses on my pillow! See, I told you she was romantic! We spent a GREAT afternoon together, and she took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant where I promptly got tipsy on two margaritas. Back home again to snuggle and talk about life. When were in bed, she asked me if I had changed soap or shampoo while at my grandmother's. She said something was different. I was so happy she noticed! I had nostalgically bought Love's Baby Soft while in Florida. It is a fragrance I used to wear when we together in high school. See, I can be romantic, too. I brought her three home grown tomatoes and a jar of homemade apple butter from Florida. She said she doesn't want me to go on any more trips for a long time. It was so hard to see her leave for work this morning. It felt sooo good to be missed!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Coming Out of the Closet

Um, Grandma, I'm gay.
Um, Grandma, I'm a lesbian.
Um, Grandma, I'm in love with a woman.
Um, Grandma, do you have any idea what I'm about to tell you?
Decisions, decisions. How am I going to announce it this week, and when do I tell her? At the beginning, middle, or end of the trip? Maybe I should take a vote?

My Day Off

Here is a photo of us before when walked down the path to the chapel. I love this photo because no one can tell that it is a wedding photo. BIG HINT: I wasn't crying yet. It was taken before we had any flowers. It's like a mystery. Anyone looking at it would think we were just dressed in street clothes, walking in a mall or something, when, actually, we were inside the Flamingo Hotel, getting ready to do something we could only dream of 30 years ago.

So today was my first official "day off." Wow, time flies. I spent it at the post office, in traffic, counselor's office, in traffic, doctor's office, in traffic, home, on the phone with an idiot. Am now taking a breath to ponder things:

1. I truly believe that one of the requirements for applying for employment at the United States Postal Service is to be as slow moving as possible. And to enjoy chitchatting about anything and everything not related to what you are supposed to be doing.

2. I truly believe that doctor's office scales are rigged and that it DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE in your weight if you take your shoes off and everything out of your pockets before weighing.

3. I truly believe that if you should not drink, drive, and text on your phone all at the same time, especially if you are not able to do it and stay in your own freakin lane or notice when the traffic light turns green.

4. I truly believe that good friends are hard to find. It is hard to be open to new friendships when you are not completely "out", not knowing whom to trust and how much to tell.

5. I truly believe that it is not good karma to read about a plane crash killing two hundred plus people two days before you are to fly out of state.

6. And last but definitely not least, I truly believe that I am and forever will be in love with J. I am SO HAPPY she is feeling better!!!! I am going to miss her sooooo much while I am gone.