Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Name Change

A few days ago, I posted a photo of our names on the bridge – “J.B. + B.B.” For those of you who know us IRL, you know that my last name does not start with a “B.” The original bridge “inscription” said, “J.B. + B.S.,” to represent my maiden name.

I guess by now most of you know how sappy I can be. So, yes, I want to take J’s last name; I have since we wed in 1980. I never told her, I guess because I thought it was always just understood. You get married; you change your name, right?

Last year, I mentioned to J about changing my last name to match hers. She seemed to be in shock; she couldn’t believe it. She said that the thought had made her so incredibly happy. She never even had a clue that I had wanted that my whole life.

We talked about how her dad would have felt about the name change, since I would be getting his last name. I think we are pretty much in agreement that once he had accepted our relationship -- which we are fairly certain he would have eventually -- that he would have been okay with it. I loved J’s dad very much, and it would be such an honor to have his name.

Why is it so important? Sharing her last name will once and for all show people that we are a couple, never to be separated again. It represents more than marriage or commitment; it represents who I am and have always been.

On the day of our wedding in Vegas, we were presented with helpful info on how to legally change your name and a checklist of places not to forget about sending the change to. So I AM eventually going to change it, but not yet. My kids and family are not at the point right now to handle a name change; but in my heart, all those years, I have always been B.B. I love it when we buy raffle tickets or something and J signs my name that way. I told her once that I would like for it to be that way when she signs us in at church on Sundays, but so far, she hasn’t written it like that. I cringe when I see our names on our checking account because they are not the same, and I want that soooo much!

So to our IRL friends, don’t be surprised if you receive a Christmas card this year with “J and B B.” written on the return address. My new e-mail address already reflects the change and I am consciously thinking about other ways in which to “sneak it in.”


DaniKel said...

I plan to change my last name to Kel's. Both of our little one's have it. But I guess I am old fashioned and won't do it until we get married/have a commitment ceremony. I completely understand what you mean about it showing the world that you are a couple, that it is forever.

I have gone back to the beginning, and am reading your archives. You two have come a long way! :-) The saying 'If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it was meant to be' seems to have been written for you and J!

Leo MacCool said...

very sweet, mrs. b. we thought about this for a while but she didn't do it, ultimately, for some good reasons. still, i love to call her mrs. maccool, between us.

This Mom said...

We decided to hyphenate our last names to make the last name for our kids and I plan to change mine to match within the next year. We purchased pre-printed address labels that have "The (mylastname)-(herlastname) Family" on them and I love using them.