Saturday, May 16, 2009

Two Graduations, Mother's Day, and More Musings

My 18-yr-old graduate with her 15-yr-old sis, with her 93-yr-old great-grandmother, with my brother and my father.
Graduation day was bittersweet. I had to face some really tough situations, but I made it through. There were over 1,500 people there for 37 graduates. A lot of people for me to face. Some, I could tell, had not heard the news. Most people were pleasant enough, but a few came over to me intentionally, hugged me, and even engaged in conversation! Even one of the men who signed the excomminication letter from the church came over and congratulated me and shook my hand! When my daughter walked in to Pomp and Circumstance, I started crying. That was the only time I cried. The rest of the time, my stomach was in knots and my heart was pounding out of my chest. I made it to the stage, hugged her while her dad gave her her diploma, and posed for a photo. I look like a beached whale in the picture; I am soooo embarrassed.
After the ceremony, I stuck around for awhile and then drove my grandmother home to Conroe. I did not attend the afterparty because I was not included in any of the planning; only the other two moms were. I did not pay for my half of the third, and ex said he understood. Up to the day of the ceremony my daughter was asking me to go to the party, but I told her, "You of all people in this world know what it feels like to be left out. I cannot attend in good conscience."
The next day I went to my brother's house for Mother's Day lunch of jerk pork tenderloin (Jamaaican) and Cuban rice. It was excellent. I just would like to know why everyone else showed up at 1:00 o'clock, and I was told it started at 2:00? I even have the time written down on a pad next to the name of the wine my brother asked me to bring, so I know it was not my imagination. Again, everyone was nice enough. My youngest was not there, though, (the talkative one who is starting to accept me more), and the graduate was getting sick, probably from no sleep the night before, and kept falling asleep on the couch. I tried to put my arm around her and stroke her hair, but I felt her squinch. A few minutes after that, she went to another couch and sat next to my mom so SHE could stroke her hair. I just couldn't keep the tears under raps, so I ended up leaving after that, before dessert, which was probably a bit rude. The whole 3 hours I sat there I did not get a "Happy Mother's Day" or a card or a gift. Literally as I was walking out the door she handed me a little planted pink flower. I was sooo happy and sort of upset that I was now leaving.
Today my 15-yr-old came to my school and helped with the kindergarten graduation and recital. She was such a big help and is going to be with me all day Tuesday to see what I do. My favorite (sarcasm here) part of the program was when my first graders came on stage to lead the audience in the pledge of allegiance and there was no flag. I looked at my boss and asked, "Where is the flag?" She said to me, "Where is the flag?" Ugh. It was pretty disorganized. I could go on and on about how I had MY part organized, but people kept trying to take over and do MY part a different way, but I will not bore you with the details. My daughter definitely noticed. I said, "Just wait until Tuesday. You will see a lot of crap happening." My kids were precious on stage. One kid did trip going up the steps to get their diploma, but I can't even remember who it was.
After K graduation, we went to lunch and then to the mall. We got the graduate a T-shirt that reads, "I graduated. May I go back to bed now?"
J is still recuperating, at a slower rate than she had hoped for. I took her out for a few minutes last night, driving to the pharmacy and to Wendy's for a Frosty. She was supposed to go back to work Monday, but I think that will be pushing it a bit. I just want her to get well. I know she is going absolutely stir crazy. I will try to get her out a bit tomorrow.

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