Last Night

Last night we went to a party for A and JD's birthdays. I took pictures, but my stupid flash didn't go off. There was tons of good food, margaritas, and games. First we played Dirty Minds. It was okay, but the game didn't last more than one round. Then we started to play Mad Gabs, which I love, but the game just never took off. So we sat around and just chatted. JD and I compared nipple scars. J and I got to hold Baby L for as long as we wanted to. Makes me want a baby again, but J doesn't want any. Then we got on the Wii and played skiing, hula hooping, and soccer head boppin (that was my favorite). I couldn't play the other games like bowling and golf because of my incision, but I was half asleep anyway. Today will be spent trying to finish that stupid kit that I have to return to the school this week and typing up tons of notes for my new job. I KNOW I CAN DO THIS JOB! I still have five full days to learn everything I can.

J just left for the grocery store. Then we are going to Barnes & Noble and to look for me a couple of jackets for work. Still pondering Twitter, but when is there time? Probably after I get the hang of my job. I imagine I will be coming in early, staying late, and maybe even doing to Saturday work for awhile until I get comfortable.

One good thing, though, I don't LOATHE Sundays anymore!

CCTJT

Note to cctjt: the problem with the old boss is that she is the owner of a school, and I was a teacher. School starts in one month, and she can't find a teacher to replace me, so she is pretty upset. I had not yet signed a new contract with her, so, technically, I didn't have to give her notice anyway. Montessori elementary teacher are difficult to find. I probably should have not written her that e-mail because I just burned a bridge, but it made me feel better to finally get some things off my chest that I had wanted to tell her for a long time. And it felt GOOD!

Surgery is Done

Me after surgery, sans makeup or hairbrush. Dr. says tumor looks benign. Feeling more myself today, since the medicine has worn off. although obsessing over my old boss. She is not pleased with me resigning and is sending me emails. I blocked her from my box after sending her a looooong response, which I stayed up writing until 3 a.m. I hope to get back to reading every blog real soon. Am still scanning them, so remember to keep those catchy titles and awesome pictures posted, so I will stop and give your blog a look.

Going to a bday party for JD, A, and L tonight. What fun!

Thank you all for your prayers. It feels so good to get that thing out of my body!!!!

Surgery Tomorrow

Please pray for my surgery tomorrow. This is my least favorite part. I wish they would fill it with Diet Coke. My friend JD is doing well afte her surgery. I wish mine was over.

Drowning

My first day. Don't know why it's sideways.


I am literally drowning in info. Started my job yesterday; ready to quit tonight. No, seriously, my brain is on total overload. I will not have much time to check blogs, only skim them, so if you want me to stop at yours you need to a) come up with a VERY catchy title of your post, b) post a really cool picture, or c) leave me a comment. If not, I am gonna fly right by your blog until I have time to come up for air. Do I think I can do this job? Yes. I have 2 weeks to try to learn everything. But right now I am feeling really stupid and defeated. Surgery is still scheduled for Friday. That also bums me because it is one day less that I will have to train.





I love ya, sweetheart!


Flipper

Gay Christian Network Website

http://gaychristian.net/

Dinner Party

Last night J gave me a congratulations dinner. There were six of us. We went to Los Cucos, but the electricity was out, so we went went to Papasitos. Still having trouble positioning photos. Here is the delicious guacamole that they make at your table. In the photo, it is almost gone! Here a photo of me and J. I love this blue shirt on her! And here's a photo of what J and I got, the fajitas with colossal shrimp.

Had a great time shopping with my mom yesterday! I told her, "Mom, we haven't been shopping together since I was around 12 years old!" She seemed to have fun running back and forth to the dressing room. Everytime I would come out of a dressing room to show her an outfit, she would not be there. I would yell, "Mom!" She would be out on the showroom hunting for more things for me to try on.

I got three blouses, three pairs of pants, two pairs of shoes, two purses, pantyhose and knee-hi's and a watch. With the few dresses in my closet, I guess I am all set.

Our trip to Galveston today was cancelled, so J and I are going to go look at apartments!!! Woohoo! This is going to be one of my best Sundays ever, and those of you who have read me for awhile know how much I always loathe Sundays!

I Got the Job! I Got the Job! I Got the Job!

So I guess you have figured out by now that I got the job! I start Monday. 8:00 to 5:00. A long drive until we move in October. We are going to start looking at apartments after my surgery.

J is throwing a Job Congrats dinner for me tonight at Los Cucos. Everyone there is supposed to give me "Words of Wisdom" about working with attorneys. Ha ha!

Going to have lunch with my grandmother today and then shopping for work clothes with my mom. I haven't been shopping with my mom since I was a kid.

I will be in Galveston all day tomorrow at Schlitterbahn, so it may be a few days before I can get back to reading your blogs. Oh, I am really enjoying the Gay Christian Network!

To my honey:
I love you!
Flipper

Amazing Woman

Change

I know I said thermight be a celebration party but it has been cancelled. Hope to see you all at JDs party next week though!

Twitter Question

A lot of people have asked if I am on Twitter. I have gone to their website, but still have some questions that are not answered there. PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT and answer some questions for me. Thank you!

1. Can I use Twitter on my cell phone via text messages? Using the internet on my cell phone is time consuming, so that is why I would rather text.

2. Since we pay Verizon to get unlimited text messages, if #1 is yes, does that mean it will be free to me?

3. If you have Twitter, and I decide to use it, please check back and send me your Twitter information. I will be making a decision as soon as I have answers to the above two questions. I don't want to Tweet on my computer. If I have to sit at my computer do tweet, I might as well just blog. Thanks.

JD

Just wanted you to meet some of my new friends!!!!

Wanted you to see a pic of JD since I talk about her so much. She is the one having the surgery like me. She has lost 80 plus lbs! Her husband is the one trying to help get me get a job at HISD. Her mom is the lady that bought the Malibu. Here is a photo with JD and her godson taken in May. I like JD because she is an adventurer. She will try ANYTHING once, including a lesbian bar! She is a bucket list type person, always up early in the morning (I THINK?), going somewhere, anywhere and she never shuts up, period. She likes to organize get togethers. One funny thing about her is that if she has half a dacquiri or half a glass of wine, she gets "drunk" and falls asleep. She missed an entire afternoon in Vegas because she drank one half of a dacquiri and had to go back to the hotel and sleep it off. LOL She thinks it may have something to do with gastric bypass surgery? JD has two dachshounds (a favorite breed of mine) and lives in my old neighborhood. She loves photography and took a lot of the photos of J and I that I have posted here on our blog. We are giving her a party for her 36th birthday next Saturday. So far there are 16 rsvps. I am very appreciative of JD because she has been a great friend to J and has been very supportive of our relationship. So, hey give her a shout out! Here is her blog addy: http://itslovelyuphere.blogspot.com/

Update

Still no news on the job. KEEP PRAYING! Hopefully, will find out today and get the wait over with. I am a wreck. If I get the job, I want to have a party Saturday night!

My surgery is scheduled for Friday, July 24th. JD is having hers Wednesday, July 22nd. Too bad we can't have a double ceremony. Tee hee! We could split the cost of the operating room, and the doc would simply have to turn around to complete the next person. Maybe we could even save by sharing an IV bag and pole; separate needles, of course. See, health care doesn't have to cost so much if you just plan it out in advance! We could call it "Share a Surgery". If patients share hospital rooms, why can't they share operating rooms? Seems logical to me. How about it JD?

Jude's Meme

I have seen this one on several blogs, but I am going to give the credit to Jude. I am pretty sure she started it.

1. Boxers, briefs, hipsters, bikinis or none? What do you wear?
bikinis or thongs

2. Last book you've read or are now reading?
James Patterson 2nd book of the Women’s Murder Club series

3. When did the realization hit you that you're a lesbian?
When I was 17 and J kissed me for the first time.

4. Give us some the details of your first lesbian sexual relationship.
We had known each other for awhile. She was a junior in high school; I was a senior. We couldn’t stand being away from one another, even during the school day. She’s says it was love at first sight for her at 15. I think I knew she had a crush on me and flirting with her brought me such joy. One thing led to another. Neither of us had a clue as to what we were doing. Most of the time our clothes stayed on. LOL

5. Rate your sensitivity level from 1 (low) to 5 (high) for your hurtful feelings.
I am a 5 plus. I get my feelings hurt VERY EASILY. I don’t like to be teased at all. I think this goes back to being teased so much when I was a kid. I think it is wrong if you feel that you have to tease someone just to get a laugh. Tell a joke or make a funny face instead.

6. Name the farthest place you've traveled to from home.
Cancun, Mexico

7. Ever get caught "doing it"? Or explain the most embarrassing if you've had many.
Almost caught. J and I were in the shower at my parents’ house, and the doorbell kept ringing. Glad I finally got out and answered it. It was my grandparents. They had a key, and if I had not opened the door, they probably would have let themselves in because my car was there.

8. What is your biggest accomplishment? Name only one.
Having children. Oh, that’s two. Oh, well, there is no way I could leave either of them out. I had the youngest so that the oldest would have a sibling. I thought, How can I love another baby this much? Turns out you can.

9. What is your major weakness?
Sonic

10. Do you normally keep your ex's as friends?
No. I find something strange about that. I guess if the ex relationship was not very long lasting or deep, then it would be okay, like if you thought you were into each other romantically, but after a couple of months figured out you were not. But if you were in that ex relationship for a long time, then there had to be some MAJOR feelings there to keep you there, and it is my opinion that feelings like that never go away completely. If that is the case, I think it is disrespectful to the other person you are in a relationship with now, and to just stay away from that other person. (Go ahead and flame me.)

11. Have you gotten your heart broken more or have you broken more hearts?
Have definitely gotten my heart broken more

12. Ever cause any divorces? (straight or gay but your parents don't count)
Yes, my recent divorce

13. Ever participate in a ménage de trios (three some)?
No, and am not interested in one. Sex to me is about love, not sex. (Go ahead. Flame me again.)

14. Are you a boobs, butt or legs woman?
I am really not into looks so much; am just not a visual person. But I have to admit I love J’s chest. But, on the other hand, if she looked different, I really wouldn’t care.

15. Muffled or loud? As in you.
Ha ha! Well, my neighbors would say loud because our walls are super thin.

16. Name the most unusual place you've "done it".
Well, the car is one, but my favorite was in the woods when we were in college. Oh, in the shower in the college dorm -- I forgot about that one. J is going to KILL ME for this post!

Wednesday

Thanks for all of your prayers so far. Well, I met with both attorneys for an hour and a half. To me, that was a long time for a second interview, but I am still trying hard not to keep my hopes up because they have one more person to interview. They said it will be one to two more days before they decide. The waiting is hell. Just tell me already. That's what I need. I need to know where my life is going. If I have to go back to teaching, I need the next two weeks to psyche myself up. If I am getting this job, I need to somehow put my hands and wallet into about five outfits and shoes by Monday.

The mammogram appointment was traumatic for me. First, I went in, and gave them the ultrasound films. The mammogram lady kept looking at my ultrasound, shaking her head, and saying how confused she was. Why did I have an ultrasound done before a mammogram? I explained for the upteenth time that that is what my dr. ordered. I couldn't help it. That's why I went for a second opinion. Blah, blah, blah. Then I had my mammogram. But then the lady said, "You are going to be here for quite awhile. He is going to do another procedure on you."

I said, "Well, I'm not going to have another ultrasound. My insurance is not going to pay for that." She said that it wouldn't be an ultrasound, and when I asked what procedure it was, she said that I would have to talk to the radiologist first. That is why she wouldn't let me put my clothes back on.

So I sat in the waiting room for awhile with my little gown on, watching other women being escorted into either the ultrasound room or the bone density room. I was thinking to myself, Why would they be doing a bone density scan?

Anyway, when I went in to see the radiologist, he started in on how he had never seen such a screwed up process, that whoever told me to get an ultrasound first should not be practicing medicine and on and on. He made me feel stupid with his condescending tone. I started to tear up. Plus, I was getting angry (I cry when angry) because he was telling me all of this again, and it was not my fault. So finally I got assertive (Yea Me!). I said, "Look, you have the mammogram, right?" "Right." "And you have the ultrasound, right?" "Right." I said, "Is the ultrasound too old?" He said, "No, it was done last month." So I said, "Then you have everything you need. Can we move on?" When I left there, I had to call J. I was starting to cry. I just get really angry when things are not in my control, and I ABSOLUTELY hate being talked down to andbeing made to feel stupid.

So basically, I am going to the surgeon today to figure out whether to do a needle biopsy or take the dumb thing out. It is really going to boil down to co-pays and what my insurance will pay and whether we can pay in installments.

So I am off in a few minutes to go back into Houston to see the surgeon, then home to work on school stuff that is cluttering our apartment. I can't wait to get it out of here!

Have a good Thursday everyone!

Entrapment Continued (5, I think?)

Okay, where were we? Oh, yes, S and I screaming bloody murder at one another in the laundry room and agreeing to put disagreements aside for the sake of the girls. Next morning we woke up super early and were headed to Pepin, WI. Now, you will have to excuse me on this post because from here on out things get really fussy, mixed up, etc. This trip was so traumatizing that I lost all track of days, hours, etc. Some things may be out of order. For instance, did we stop for breakfast first before going to Pepin? Pretty sure we did but not positive. I know we went to the place where Red something shoes are made, those famous shoes. (I know.... I could look it up, but I am just too stressed to do so.) ** Update: Red Wing Shoes

We left lots of things behind in S's apartment. American Dolls which cost &80 each. All of the video playback equipment. Souvenirs we had bought in Minneapolis/St. Paul, clothes. We just took a few days' worth of clothes, cameras, video camera. We had to travel light cuz S had a small car. S had a suitcase and the three of us shared one suitcase and left the other suitcase in Minneapolis.

But the main thing about that day is this: We stopped at a cafe for breakfast. Again, S insisted that K11 figure out the tip, which ended up in not understanding, feeling stupid, and in tears. Finally, S said to me, "Fine, if she is not going to figure up the tip at every meal, then I am no longer paying for any of your meals OR your hotel!" We were all four supposed to stay in one room, so what she was telling me was that I was to get one room for the three of us and pay for it myself, and she would have her own room. After being at Mall of America and a couple of other souvenir places, I had about $100-$150 in traveler's checks left. I had saved them for Laura Ingalls Wilder souvenirs because that's what the kids had really come for.

For the rest of the trip I only ordered food for the girls, and I just ate any leftovers they had, which was difficult, because once the girls were done eating their fill, S was ready to hit the road. At the cafe, I called my ex and explained to him the situation. He said that we had about 50-100 dollars in the checking acct. and to only use it in case of emergency. But how was I going to pay for motels for a few days? I explained this to S and that maybe we should turn around and go back to Minneapolis, but she said no, that she wanted to go on this trip, and she was going!

We got to Pepin, Wisconsin, which is directly over the border from Minnesota. There is basically nothing there. A replica of the cabin Laura was born in and a small "museum/gift shop" if you want to call it that. S bought K7 - okay now I'm really losing it because I can't remember if it is K7 or K8 ha ha. Okay. It's K 7 cuz her birthday was at end of July) all kinds of t-shirts and souvenirs. She bought K11 nada. So me with my $100-$150 bought a few cheap things for K11. She never complained, although I did see her cry once or twice.

Then we got back on the road. We went through the town where Grumpy Old Men was filmed. Can't think of the name of it. Again, I am too stressed out to look, but let me tell you it was GORGEOUS!!!!! ** Wabasha. Then the shit started hitting the fan. There is a highway that runs across Minnesota. I want to say it is HWY 13??? Haven't been able to find it and too stressed out to research. Anyway we got on it around 8 in the morning and started driving west toward DeSmet, South Dakota. Evidently that is where all the action is. We passed Walnut Grove and were going to come back and see that later.

Going west, the girls were in the back seat. By now S is seriously pissed off about the tip, etc., and I'm sitting in the passenger seat trying figure out how the hell I'm going to come up with enough money for a motel for the night. The sun is pounding in the back window from the east on the girls. S refuses to turn on the A/C, only open the moon roof. I was sweating profusely, and the girls were sweating even more because of the sun. I continued to ask S to please turn the A/C on for at least a little while. She refused. Remember: the girls are wearing homemade dresses and aprons from the 1800s plus bonnets. Those bonnets did not stay on. All the way down the highway she played a CD or cassette of Native American music full blast. Now, I don't have anything against Native Americans, but the constant loud drumming from the back seat speakers, mixed with the heat was just too much for my girls. I looked back there, and they were holding hands.

All down the highway there was nothing but prairie and windmills. I had no signal on my cell phone anymore. My ex was going to try to borrow some money and put it in the bank, but he had no way of contacting me. Whenever we would see a gas station, which was rarely, I would ask S to stop so that the girls could go to the bathroom. Again, she refused. Somewhere in between Walnut Grove and DeSmet, South Dakota, we found a motel. It was in the middle of nowhere, but it was only about $40 a night. I was thrilled! I had enough! I had been afraid that the locals would try to rip Laura Ingalls fans off, but they didn't. S said that we would stay at this motel for a couple of nights. It would be our base. That way we could travel back and forth from DeSmet, Walnut Grove, and Burr Oak at our leisure.

We checked in and went down to the car. S hit the accelerator before my girls' seat belts were fastened and my door was still open all the way. We kind of spun in a circle in the parking lot,which was just dirt. She began speeding, about 80 or 90. She would scream at me each time I would lean over to look at the speedometer. We still had several hours to get to DeSmet. The girls were thirsty, hot, and were complaining of headaches because of the music. It was the same CD/cassette over and over. She never changed it once.

I am sure I leaving things out. When we got to DeSmet we went through the Ingalls home, saw the sod house, lots of things. The girls should have been thrilled. But they were feeling downtrodden and overheated. The girls did a few craft projects, we took tons of pictures. A man takes you in a covered wagon through the slough where baby Carrie got lost. It is about 1/2 mile ride to the one-room schoolhouse they had set up there. The man chose K11 to drive, commenting on her 1800's attire. She was so proud of herself driving those horses. All during this field trip, S would not say a word to any of us.

When we got to the school house, there was a school marm there. My daughters had been on a field trip to a one-room school house in League City twice, so they were having fun making observations about what was different from the two schoolhouses. We were listening to the school marm recite her expected speech. All of a sudden, I turned around, and I saw S walking away from the school house towards the main house/parking lot/gift shop. I have a video of that. She never told us goodbye, I gotta pee, see ya later, nothing. Panic hit me. We are in South Dakota, I really have no idea where DeSmet is on the map. S is our only transportation. My cell phone won't work. Who would I call anyway? My ex was a thousand miles away.

When the school session was over, we rode the wagon back to the main building/gift shop. S was in there drinking something, buying souvenirs. I told her the girls really needed to get out of those hot dresses. They were thirsty and hungry. She said, "They can change into shorts, but they had better hurry. I am ready to leave! I had to help them get changed. Bought them a few cheap souvenirs (pretty much spent the last of my cash). Was trying to buy them lunch, but S said we had to leave NOW and that she had grapes in the trunk. Whoopee.

By now the girls are hungry, hot, and extremely stressed. We went into DeSmet and saw gravesites and the house in town Pa built for Ma. Again, it was wonderful, but none of us enjoyed it, especially me. I was trying to figure out how the hell I was going to pay for more food, etc.

We drove past the motel and into Walnut Grove, where I was looking around for a police station, anyone who could help me. I had asked S several times if she would just drive us back to Minneapolis so we could get our stuff out of her apartment. I had two plans: get our stuff and stay in a hotel until our plane left that weekend; or get our stuff, rent a car and do the tour ourselves. This all depended on, of course, ex finding some money to borrow.

We ended up in the square in Walnut Grove. S parked across the street from a park where there seemed to be some kind of flea market going on. She got out of the car and locked us all in. I unlocked the car and we went across to the park, trying to catch up to her. I could not lose her; she was my ride. She was looking at some merchandise on a table. I went up to someone and asked if there was a police station nearby, and swoosh, S took off running to her car, leaving me and the girls in the park. She drove around the block, I guess, and finally came back and yelled, "GET IN!" Again, before we had seat belts on or doors closed, she hit the gas.

We drove back to the hotel. When we got to the parking lot. I asked S what we were going to do next. She said, "Well, I don't know what you guys are going to do. I AM GOING TO THE LAURA INGALLS WILDER PAGEANT IN WALNUT GROVE BY MYSELF!" Okay, now this pageant is supposed to be wonderful. This is every little girl's dream come true. The girls were very upset, crying inside the room. I went to S's room and we had it out. She finally conceded that we could go with her and drove us there. She bough K7 treats during the show and a Laura Ingalls sweatshirt. Luckily, admission was only $7. I had enough to get us in. (When we got back home I purchased a sweatshirt for K11 online to make up for this.)

The pageant was the most amazing production. The girls did not want it to end. They even cried when it ended.

Okay. I will leave you with this last part and then I will have to continue another time. When we got up the next morning, we thought we were going to Burr Oak or back to Walnut Grove. They have lots of things there from the TV show. When we got to the car, S screamed at me, "Where is your suitcase?" I said, "It's upstairs." She screamed at me, "We're not staying here! We're leaving! I never said we were staying here two nights!!" She most certainly did.

I left the kids in the car, ran up the stairs crying, packed as quickly as I could, and came back downstairs to the parking lot. She then said, "I don't have enough room for your suitcase in the trunk. You will have to carry it in your lap!" Well, I took the tray of orange juice that the girls were drinking and slung the entire thing at S, covering her with orange juice. Then I told her to go behind the building. The girls tell me now that they had never ever heard me yell like that at anyone (obviously, they had not heard me in the laundry room). S said she was going to report me to the police for physical assault. I said I just wanted to go back to Minneapolis and get our stuff. She said she might never ever take us back to Minneapolis. She had the whole summer off. She said she would drive in a different direction from now on, away from Minneapolis. AND SHE DID. And there I sat in the front of her car with our suitcase on my lap, hungry, praying to God for the safety of me and my kids, watching the windmills go by. We never made it to Burr Oak. We never made it back to Walnut Grove. If I had been alone, I would have hitchhiked, but I could not do that with my kids. Several times S asked me what I was doing. I always responded, "I am praying." The girls were great. They cried but not outloud. They held hands. I leaned back and held on to them. I felt that the safety of my kids was in God's hands. By now, K7 had stomach cramps and diarrhea. I felt as if we had been kidnapped. I told them everything was going to be alright. God was going to take care of us and that I would not leave them. As you will see in the next part, I HAD TO LEAVE THEM in order to get them home safely.

I hope to finish the story next time.

Haven't Forgotten

I want you all to know that I haven't forgotten to finish the Entrapment story. I have just been soooo stressed about getting a new job. Thinking about actually writing that story down just stresses me out more. I should know something today or tomorrow. I am going in for a second interview today to meet the second attorney, so PLEASE keep praying or sending good thoughts!

Yesterday was a looooong day. I put 220 miles on my car in such a short time. I went with K19 to the college and then signed her up for classes. Then I went to Houston, to the medical center to have my mammogram. (Preface: I have an appt with a surgeon Thursday who I am supposed to take ultrasound films to, along with the mammogram films.) So I get to the mammogram place and they say I am supposed to have a mammogram AND an ultrasound. I had already called my ob/gyn and told him I didn't need an ultrasound, already had one. That the ob/gyn had accidentally checked the ultrasound box.

So the mammogram lady said, "Well, where are the ultrasound films?" I told her that they were at the other hospital, where I had the ultrasound done, and that I was supposed to pick them up Wednesday (today) to take to surgeon on Thursday. She said that the radiologist WOULD NOT do a mammogram without having the ultrasound films first. (Are you getting any of this?)

So I had to cancel my mammogram appt and reschedule for Wednesday (today). They will try to fit me in around 1:00. Then I had to drive back through Houston to the other hospital. I told them, "I know I told you I would pick up the films tomorrow (Wednesday-today), but I really need them today, because I have a job interview tomorrow." Praise God, the films were ready!

Then I drove back by the apt to put the films in there because it is over 100 degrees out here, drove all the way back to Tomball (where my kids live), picked up K15 and took her to the college to study for two hours. Then we went to have our nails done and out to eat. Then I had to drive back to Tomball to take her home and then back into Houston to our apt.

I hope today is a bit less busy.
Talk to you guys later! Got to go put on my business suit!

Another Interesting Employment Opportunity

Engineering services company looking for an office assistant, where your duties will include… well, ummm, if you can think it, you’ll probably be asked to do it.

Ideal Candidate:
Inherently Nurturing
Fashionable
PC savvy- Microsoft Office, Outlook, Adobe Acrobat is a plus!
Trustworthy with confidential information
Honest, hardworking, level-headed and canny ... these are the hardest ones to find.
Does not take life sooooo seriously
Has very few “blonde moments”
Socially Adaptable (can tell lewd jokes one minute and be professional when needed)
Deal with Engineers and Techs without biting! If you do, don’t bite hard.
Understand and obey the phrase “Do not surf the internet while at work”

Think… Girl Friday- A 'go to' girl; a female who will help you get things taken care of; a female you can rely on when you are in need of extra assistance; a female who acts as a 'jack of all trades' and is capable of doing almost anything; a girl you can count on when you are overwhelmed with your own chores and the duties must be done; a girl who does most of the leg work on a project, but never takes (or gets) credit. “When you need extra help....I'm your Girl Friday.”

We encourage Guy Fridays too! The owner has been variously described as “fastidious and fussy” to “jerk-face”. Heed this warning: If you wear your feelings on your sleeve, this is NOT the job for you. Please, don’t waste your time or ours. Drama Queens need NOT apply! btw… We have Geek-Fest Fridays; n00bs get pwnd by the uber-nerds! No digitards allowed! w00t!

Compensation: Pay starts at $10/hour but can increase quickly for the person willing to go above and beyond.

Now, who wouldn't LOVE a job like that for ten whole bucks an hour?

In Honor of Joey

This video is in honor of Joey who likes skulls! Enjoy!

SPLIT

I have been reading about 20 blogs per day now for about six months or so. The majority of the blogs are written by lesbians in a partner/marriage relationship because that's what I am really interested in -- making acquaintances with others in our situation.

Today I read that one of the couples split. Just like that -- split up. No words of sadness, regret, drama written on the blog. Only that they just "split." This is, I think, the third couple in the past six months that I have been reading that have parted. Now, I am SURE that there is much more to it that has not been written on their blogs, things that they never wanted to share with the cyberworld. I mean, who wants to write about all the downs in a relationship or when things get rocky. I am not going in that direction.

What I am pondering is this: How likely is it that the rest of you "partners" that I read about will stay together? Does anyone have statistics on that? The percentage of GLBTs who stay together? I'm not talking about dating couples. I'm talking about those couples who have made a public/private "commitment" to one another, and especially those of you who are raising a family together. I sometimes worry that J and I will not be able to stay together. It is always a constant fear in the back of my mind. I mean, both of our families and most of my friends are on pins and needles waiting for it to happen, for us to break up.

And there are some times in our relationship when I say to myself, "Oh, yeah, this is one of the reasons we didn't stay together before." I only seem to remember the good memories, not our struggles that we had. It's like I completely blocked them all out. J and I sometimes talk about it, that we both believe we would not have been able to stay together before. We were soooo young (well, so are many of you). I wanted kids (well, so do many of you, and some of you are doing something about it). We were petrified our friends and family would find out and were afraid of the unknown. Remember, it was the early '80s for us. We basically stayed in our apartment all the time with our blinds literally closed. The past is the past; there is no way of changing that.

BUT we have waited so long, 30 years, to be together. How can we split up now? It seems like it would take an atomic bomb to tear us apart. We have worked so hard and been through so much to get where we are. This time last year, we were sneaking around, emotionally and physically drawn to one another like a wildfire to a forest. We hardly ever argued, except for when I drank. Now that things are more settled, we seem to get into more disagreements. And there is more drama. I believe that is for several reasons: 1) We are still under a TREMENDOUS amount of stress, 2) We haven't live together for a long time. It takes awhile to get all the kinks worked out, 3) We are passionate about one another. I think that is where a lot of the drama comes into play. My ex and I hardly ever argued or sulked or anything. We just got along. But I think that is because the deep feelings were not there. There was no reason to fight or cry or be scared, because it there was no treasure at stake. Really, the only thing there was to fight for were my kids. Otherwise, I just let things go, or he just let things go.

However, sometimes when J and I argue, I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. I ask myself, "What will be the final straw? What will it take for her to walk out the door and never come back? Will it be something big or little? Will she just one day say that she's had enough?"

In my heart I believe that J and I WILL stay together, and I pray that those of you reading my blog will, too. She and I definitely have more good times than bad. We don't enjoy sleeping apart, even if it because one of us (I won't say which) is snoring like a duck. We would rather do things together than apart (that includes errands like grocery shopping and bank runs.) As I am sitting here typing away, knowing she is in the other room on the sofa with a backache, I can barely contain myself from walking in there to kiss her. I know we will be okay. If the passion and drama is there when we are getting along, why would it not be there when we don't?

Anyway, if anyone can give me statistics on gay "divorce" rates that are accurate, please let me know.

On another note, we are in need of prayer for several reasons:

1) My car is in the shop, and it is going to be expensive to fix. I just thank God that I did not stall on my way to the interview yesterday.

2) My interview. I sent a follow-up e-mail to the attorney and received one in return, saying that I am still being considered, and that he will make a decision next week. I really want this job, folks. But I have to remember that it is not about me, it is about God's will for my life and career. I went back to the school today to retrieve some work to do this week in preparation for the new year. I am still trying to stay positive about the job without obsessing over whether I get it or not.

3) J's back has really been bothering her the past few days. I am really worried about her.

4) Please pray that my daughters will continue to call and ask me for advice. It makes me feel so good that they are both finally doing that, that they are starting to trust me a little bit more to ask me for help (especially the older one.) They both have a habit of texting me first to see if they can call me. I have told them both that they do not have to ask permission to call me; just call me. If I can't come to the phone, I won't answer it.

Thanks for your prayers and good thoughts!

My Day of Impressions

Today was a day of impressions. A lot of good it did me.

Well, I went to the interview. The attorney stated over and over how impressed he was with my resume (THANK YOU J AND JD!). It went well, but somehow, some way, someone cut in line in front of me and has better connections than I do. Oh, well. I guess sometimes impressions aren't all they are cracked up to be.

Anyway, I was only about 20 minutes away, so I went by J's work and picked her up around 11:00 ish, and we went to lunch. Baked potato for me; bbq sandwich for her. We talked about the interview and what to write on the follow-up e-mail. A couple of times during this drive, my car would not shift into 4th gear. It kept making a grinding sound, and I had to stay in 3rd gear for awhile.

Took J back to work and headed home to change clothes. Was to meet K19 at 1:45 at the college in the town I used to live in to talk to financial aid. Ran late because there was a MAJOR car wreck on the bypass. Finally got to the college and found out that there was more paperwork to fill out, and had to call my ex to bring our tax return up there. Not sure why since K19 is paying for college herself, but oh well.

Was supposed to pick K15 up from work at 3:00 p.m. By the time we met with the financial aid advisor and turned everything in, it was close to 3:00 pm. I was to pick K15 up and bring her back to the college library to do our schoolwork. At 2:59 on the nose, around the corner from daughter's work, while trying to pull out of a four-way stop, I hear a popping noise as I tried to put the car in 1st gear. Then it would not shift. I could only stay in neutral.

I knew I was near some baseball fields. And, wouldn't you know, I was right behind my old church! Here I am literally in the middle of my old small town, where I used to have about 40 friends, and I could not call any of them. Well, one, L. We will get to that. I got out of the car and started pushing it through the stop sign and turned right. Then pushed it down the street a bit and then to the left into the baseball field parking lot. All of this in flip-flops and 99 degree or more heat. As I was pushing, I noticed an older lady drive by.

The engine was still running, so I got back into the car to cool off for a bit. Called my ex to come back into town and pick up K15. Called J and told her I was stalled. Then the old woman came into the parking lot and asked me to roll my window down. She told me that she just had to come by and say how impressed she was that I was pushing the car and how I had really thought it through. (Um, there wasn't really much to think about.) She offered to take me back to her house, which I declined. I told her someone was on their way and thanked her. She stayed for a few minutes and left, saying again how she never would have thought of that and how impressed she was. ????

Thanks to my friend L, who gave me the name of a garage nearby which towed my car. Thanks to J for changing her evening plans and leaving work early to pick me up so that I would not have to sit in the heat. And thanks to my girls for understanding that I cannot take them to Galveston tomorrow as planned. I offered them swim time tomorrow at the apartments to make up for it, but now it is supposed to rain.

Sign someone posted at our apartments today. So true! You can see at the bottom where another resident added "Yes." There was a sign similar to this posted last week. Guess that one didn't work. People are soooo inconsiderate.

Our Weekend

Bought two Aqua Globes this weekend on sale at Walmart. My mother swears by these things. One is for our lemon tree, so that I don't kill it. Now I have to get a plant to go with the other one. Wish they made miniature ones for Bonsai plants.

If someone could please give me a quick rundown on how to post pictures in the middle of your post, I would appreciate it. I have tried cutting and pasting; that didn't work. I have tried hitting the "add image" icon in the middle of a post; that didn't work. My pictures ALWAYS show up at the beginning of my posts.

This weekend we mainly relaxed. We did go to church this morning for the first time in a long time. Not many people there because of the holiday, I guess.

Tomorrow I have an interview at 10:30, so please pray for me. This time I am determined not to get my hopes up. If some of my Houston readers get a reference call, PLEASE give me a positive reference! LOL

In the afternoon I am meeting K19 at the college to talk to them about financial aid. Then doing schoolwork with K15.

Tuesday I am taking the girls and a friend to Schlitterbahn in Galveston. I just found out tonight that my girls can no longer have friends over to spend the night. I had not known that before. Makes sense, though, since there is only a man there. Now I am back to feeling very guilty again for taking yet another childhood enjoyment out of their lives.

I would like to shout out to two people today:

V - I am praying for you and Katie Rose (that's her dog that is ill)

L - I am praying for you, too, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRL!!!

Oh, I just realized something. I forgot to tell you that J and I gave Tana away last Saturday to a family of four soon to be five. We won't go into why she is no longer here and how difficult it was to let her go. It was just not the right time or place for us to have a pooch right now. Suffice to say they have renamed her, and she is doing well there.

Ass in the Trash (Don't read if you are squeamish.)

I had made an appointment with my new OB/GYN. He announced that he was going to do a pap test and a rectal exam. Okay, so I kinda freaked out. I mean just the words rectal exam had my heart racing, my blood pressure up, and my legs ready to bolt out the door. You, see -- ahem -- well, okay, I will admit it. We are all adults here anyway, right? I had been having a bit of trouble with hemorroids in the past, and the thought of a rectal exam was extremely stressful to me. I knew it was gonna hurt like fire up my ass and that blood would probably be everywhere.

So we go through all the other parts of the exam, and he announces, "Now, for the rectal exam!" Bam! Wow! He torpedoed me like a razor blade! I was in sooo much pain, let me tell you! I was trying not to cry out. When it was over, I was shaking so much that I could barely walk over to my clothes to put them back on.

Then the nurse walked into the room carrying a tiny paper bag. She said, "You need to carry this specimen downstairs to the lab and drop it off." I reminded her that I needed to use a certain lab because of my insurance, and was that the correct lab?

Do you know what that bitch did? She turned around, walked over to the trash can, stepped on the pedal, opened the lid, and threw the bag into the trash! I said to her, "What was that you just threw away?" She said, "Your rectal specimen. For that lab, you have to do it yourself at home." And she shoved an envelope in my hand that was supposed to have directions inside on how to do it to yourself. I was beyond pissed off. I couldn't think straight. I wanted to yell and scream at the nurse and say, "You turn around and go get that paper bag out of that trash can this minute, bitch! Do you hear me? Look at me when I'm talking to you! How dare you throw that specimen in the trash! Do you have any idea what I just went through?"

So horrified that I asked myself: What about my pap test? Do I have to do that to myself, too? How could I do that? (I'm laughing about that now.)

I asked, "What about my pap test?" She said that that specimen could go to that lab. So I went through the whole stupid rectal exam for nothing!

So to lighten things up a bit, I will tell you an old joke that my grandfather used to tell me:
A proctologist was in surgery, working on a patient. The nurse came in with an iced cold beer on an instrument tray. The proctologist said to the nurse, "No, nurse. I asked for a butt light!"