Wednesday

Thanks for all of your prayers so far. Well, I met with both attorneys for an hour and a half. To me, that was a long time for a second interview, but I am still trying hard not to keep my hopes up because they have one more person to interview. They said it will be one to two more days before they decide. The waiting is hell. Just tell me already. That's what I need. I need to know where my life is going. If I have to go back to teaching, I need the next two weeks to psyche myself up. If I am getting this job, I need to somehow put my hands and wallet into about five outfits and shoes by Monday.

The mammogram appointment was traumatic for me. First, I went in, and gave them the ultrasound films. The mammogram lady kept looking at my ultrasound, shaking her head, and saying how confused she was. Why did I have an ultrasound done before a mammogram? I explained for the upteenth time that that is what my dr. ordered. I couldn't help it. That's why I went for a second opinion. Blah, blah, blah. Then I had my mammogram. But then the lady said, "You are going to be here for quite awhile. He is going to do another procedure on you."

I said, "Well, I'm not going to have another ultrasound. My insurance is not going to pay for that." She said that it wouldn't be an ultrasound, and when I asked what procedure it was, she said that I would have to talk to the radiologist first. That is why she wouldn't let me put my clothes back on.

So I sat in the waiting room for awhile with my little gown on, watching other women being escorted into either the ultrasound room or the bone density room. I was thinking to myself, Why would they be doing a bone density scan?

Anyway, when I went in to see the radiologist, he started in on how he had never seen such a screwed up process, that whoever told me to get an ultrasound first should not be practicing medicine and on and on. He made me feel stupid with his condescending tone. I started to tear up. Plus, I was getting angry (I cry when angry) because he was telling me all of this again, and it was not my fault. So finally I got assertive (Yea Me!). I said, "Look, you have the mammogram, right?" "Right." "And you have the ultrasound, right?" "Right." I said, "Is the ultrasound too old?" He said, "No, it was done last month." So I said, "Then you have everything you need. Can we move on?" When I left there, I had to call J. I was starting to cry. I just get really angry when things are not in my control, and I ABSOLUTELY hate being talked down to andbeing made to feel stupid.

So basically, I am going to the surgeon today to figure out whether to do a needle biopsy or take the dumb thing out. It is really going to boil down to co-pays and what my insurance will pay and whether we can pay in installments.

So I am off in a few minutes to go back into Houston to see the surgeon, then home to work on school stuff that is cluttering our apartment. I can't wait to get it out of here!

Have a good Thursday everyone!