Happy Easter!

I am soooo torn. I want to spend Easter with J, but I want to see my kids and give them their bags. Why does it have to be this way, and does it have to be this way forever? I want to arrive at my parents' looking happy and healthy, but it is about an hour drive, and I'm going to cry the whole way there. My face will be red and puffy.

J and I are going to church in a little while, and I am afraid I will cry all the way through it. Some sadness, but mostly overwhelmed. This will be the FIRST time I have heard the Easter story and been told that Jesus died and rose for me, the REAL me. I am so scared I am going to break down in church. But I need this, I need to hear this news for the first time ever. And I need to take it in and bury it deep in my heart so I can carry it with me throughout the year.